Luna, you inrgate.

Jokes on him. I have my own organic, pasture raised outrage all on my own.

Why yes, I did in fact feed this baby birb and reunite it with its family. Because I'm a 6ft hairy Disney Princess and that's my fucking M.O.

Late GM, you lard asses. May your cholesterol levels not be in the Danger Zone.

Collect not rain water, but blood.

This is about where I'm at. And it wasn't me who brought me here...

I yearn for this level of cozy

Add "Baby Faced Killer" to the Lunchtime Rowdie list...

Guilty Verdict

We won't forget you, Claudette. Thank you for your alpha-tier bravery @PerryALPHA

Don't think you're off the hook, @AudiOfficial.

Only one thing beats a girl with a pretty voice. And that's Chris Brown.

Example 1,483,393 of a fish not knowing it's in water.

Dear @Ferrari. Whatever you did to piss off Pininfarina. Apologize for it. Grovel if necessary. These are atrocious.

TLDR: Belated birthday wishes/origin story for a buddy. HBD It's 2006 and a much younger, less attractive and funny C_NoteActual was sitting in an Automotive Engines class at the local JC. As one does in the lecture portion of most classes, I had my cell phone out doing whatever I could on it to find a way to engagingly distract myself from monotonous lecture. Truth be told, the teacher was remarkably qualified and quite cool, so I paid a lot more attention down the line, but it was early on. As i'm plugging away playing games on what I remember to be my BLACKBERRY (jesus), i suddenly lose my grip on the device and it falls toward the floor. In an effort to mitigate the noise and distraction to the rest of the class, and hide my inattentiveness from the teacher, I eyeballed its flight path, and promptly slammed my boots together at my feet and caught the phone. I retrieved my phone from between my ankles, and none were the wiser. The gentleman next to me, who at the time bore a resemblance to Nick Swardson (says my sister), turned his head, smiled, and aggressively whispered, "Niiiice!" We've been friends for 20 years. H(belated)BD @Tooth_Chipper !

Apparently the butt hurts also. Who even is this dude? 🤣

Currently half way through book 3 of this series by @TheJasonAnspach and Ryan Williamson and it's been a page turner. I highly recommend.

Spotted by the Fren

Private Carlton Barrett was possibly the smallest man in his regiment. 5 feet 4 inches tall. 125 pounds. On the morning of June 6, 1944, he landed at Omaha Beach in neck-deep water, machine gun fire cutting the surface all around him. He made it to shore. Then he turned around and went back in. A soldier was drowning. Barrett pulled him out. Then another. Then another. For hours, under constant fire, this 125-pound man waded back into the surf again and again, pulling drowning men to safety and physically carrying the wounded to evacuation boats offshore. But he didn't stop there. He ran dispatches the full length of the fire-swept beach. He found soldiers paralyzed by shock and calmed them back into action. He appeared wherever the crisis was worst, doing whatever needed doing, treating rank and personal safety as irrelevant details. He did this for hours without stopping. His Medal of Honor citation says his courage had "an inestimable effect on his comrades." That is military understatement for: this small, anonymous man held that section of beach together through sheer force of will. He survived the war. His comrades later said his life darkened after he came home. He lived quietly and died in 1986 in California, largely unknown outside of military history circles. 5 feet 4 inches. 125 pounds. He went back in. Remember him.