sup dude names tom but my friends call me tomb
Joined September 2011
- Tweets 13,095
- Following 948
- Followers 3,314
- Likes 76,192
1,357 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
7 Nov 2022
me: so yeah once you hit "flow state" you don't even need the instructions really, you can just freestyle it
date: omg that's so cute, how long have you been playing with Legos for?
me: it's not playing
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tomb
Jun 13
If aliens requested a meeting with a sole individual to represent the human race, whom should we send?
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Jun 14
RT @havingalaugh: please use the "he had so much more content to make" line when i die too
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tomb retweeted
Wearing this to the rap battle and getting absolutely roasted to a crisp.
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Jun 12
I like it when comedians do Joke Face because it's pretty much the only way to discern if something is a joke
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Jun 9
Using hinge (for dating, not research) and man all these women are interesting and gorgeous. Hopefully this doesn't backfire on me in a viral manner
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This is a sensitive subject
Can anyone tell me more about this mushroom house in the middle of downtown Chicago I am amazed
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22 Jan 2025
my friend: Nah cuz why white people got grandparent names like βgree-grawβ and βpip-pipβπ
My alien friend trying to riff:And for why is the purple people named Grimaceπ
*awkward silence*
Me, hitting him hard whispering in his ear: do not embarrass me like that again gorlax
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5 Feb 2025
"it was actually pretty dope" is burned in to my vernacular. I can't stop saying it
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Jun 3
this is unfortunately how I am about everything except The Kid Detective (2020) featuring Adam Brody
31 Dec 2019
When you look back at "China, IL", they pretty much nailed what it feels like being indifferent to something that's beloved and/or critically acclaimed. @AdultSwimNoCon
(Note: These are actually Brad Neely's thoughts on "Toy Story 3")
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Jun 2
more jar jar. Every time jar jar isn't on screen all the other characters should be asking "where's jar jar?"
May 31
If you could change one thing about The Phantom Menace what would it be?
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May 31
think critically and for yourself for once instead of parroting the msm "dead children is bad"
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May 31
$200 rent
$400 groceries
1 billion dollars presidential ballroom
somebody help my country is falling apart
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May 29
This is it. If the visions are true, today, during the last stretch of my walk, I will be ambushed and clubbed to death by a band of demihumans. They will strip the clothes off my corpse and wear them. They might also mock my voice, which has been described as gay-adjacent
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19 Nov 2025
Being evil is fine if you have a good reason. Like if you are given money. Money absolves you from ownership of your actions.
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14 Oct 2022
Local news reporter: Tonight we dive into the wild world of βadult roughhousingβ
20-something guy in a headlock: Weβre just two guys who live in the same house and we love gettin a little rough, nothin wrong with that
[B-roll footage of them pushing each other into the furniture
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