people can FEEL when you're desperate - it's an energy that pushes them away how to date without desperation: > stop treating every date like it could be "the one" - just have FUN meeting someone new > have a full life outside of dating - hobbies, friends, goals - it makes you more attractive AND happier > don't over-text or over-plan - match their energy and let things breathe > if they're not communicating consistently (without explaining why), they're not that interested - move on! (it's all good, it happens) > the right person won't make you feel anxious all the time. EASE is a green flag > you're focusing all your energy on what they think of you. have you considered asking yourself what do *I* think of them? > abundance mindset baby!!! there is infinite connection out there for you. no need to obsess. the right one is right around the corner > stop auditioning for them. you don't need to perform. you want someone who likes you for YOU (not someone you're *trying* to be) > when it's right, it feels EASY - not like you're constantly trying to prove yourself desperation comes from scarcity mindset the cure is building a life you LOVE with or without a partner that energy will attract abundance you got this!!!

on moving past it

how to avoid becoming a soulless adult: > stop making everything productive - not every hobby needs to "go somewhere" > it’s ok to try something new and be bad at it!! you’re not being graded anymore!! > say yes to spontaneous plans even when you're tired - some of the best nights are unplanned > hang out with people who make you laugh, not just people who "make sense" > stop asking yourself "what do I want to do with my life" (too overwhelming) -> START asking "what would make me feel alive THIS MONTH?" & go make it happen > cap venting to 30% of your total hang time; your friends aren't free therapy > plan ONE thing each week that you'd look forward to > you can start simple - work somewhere new, walk somewhere new, eat something new > take a random class just for fun - pottery, dance, improv, cooking > do things that make you feel like a kid again - dance in the rain, run through the sprinklers, game night > surround yourself with people who make you feel lighter - your time and energy is precious > be 5% more silly in your life. sing badly in the car, dance in your room, crack a bad joke. let's grow the silly muscle > talk to strangers - at coffee shops, events, literally anywhere. serendipity maxx > don't forget the basics: move your body, get sunlight, take your vitamins, eat well, sleep > your time to live life is happening NOW so stop saving it for later!! we forgot that life is supposed to be FUN ya'll lets go PLAY!!! you got this!!!

on making friends as an adult

how to go from friends to close friends: (big part of adulting is practicing this!!) tips: > put yourself out there and hang 1:1, even if it's out of the ordinary for your relationship > make new memories together - don't just be 'catch up' friends. you need to create opportunities for new memories together > create depth. vulnerability is key. open up about your REAL life - something you want advice on. people bond through depth > find unexpected overlaps - same hometown, a shared hobby, a same set of values - it's more likely to make the connection stick > follow-up on what's meaningful to them - check-in about their stressors, how the project went. BE there for them > experience something new - go on a road trip, an adventure, a concert, etc > naturally, living close to each other helps with this process > recurring, recurring, recurring - you need repeat interactions to build depth > unpack the qualities in common with people you're already close friends with & find ways to get closer with more of those people > let it happen naturally - not every friend is going to turn into a close friend. there are different seasons, reasons for our friends and that's OKAY! don't force what isn't meant to be there don’t be disappointed if this process fails with someone. there’s a lot of factors that have to go RIGHT to make a close friend: both available, both looking to expand their circle, etc. it's usually never personal & it's always worth putting yourself out there. the right people will match your energy!!! i'm proud of you!!! go make those new close friends!!!

dating apps aren’t the problem, your mindset is everywhere I see people complaining about the dating apps dating apps are a tool. it's one of many tools available to you to meet someone. sure, some people do better on there than others. sure, men have worse odds of actually getting high quality matches but as I said, it’s a tool there are many paths available to find someone to date: > dating apps > mutuals > in-person!! (go to events, run clubs, classes, parties - to create the right CONDITIONS to meet people) the REAL problem is when you get so dreadfully convinced that dating sucks and it bleeds into your mindset everywhere you go & ruins the quality of your interactions dating IS hard it requires intentionality & effort just like anything else that's GOOD in life don't let negativity and powerlessness get in the way of (1) getting clear on what you want (2) believing you deserve it (3) putting yourself in the position to find it

anyway, met my boyfriend on Hinge so i'm a believer in the process x.com/adele_bloch/status/202…

how to life maxx more: > get out of your house > say yes to spontaneous plans even when you're tired - some of the best nights are unplanned > talk to strangers - at coffee shops, events, literally anywhere. serendipity maxx > make a bucket list and work your way through said bucket list!! > stop opting for boring hangs. switch things up with your friends. try something new!! > start a random hobby just for fun - pottery, dance, improv, cooking. not everything needs to "be productive" ok?? > be 5% more silly in your life. dance in your room, sing badly in the car, crack a bad joke. it's not that serious. grow the silly muscle > surround yourself with people who make you feel lighter - your time and energy is precious > don't forget the basics: move your body, get sunlight, take your vitamins, eat well, sleep > your time to live life is happening NOW so stop saving it for later!! get out your house & out into the real world people!! lets go PLAY!!!