Imagine this: The year is 2027. You've abandoned everything. Your job. Your phone. Your 401k. You flew to Kyoto with nothing but a carry-on and a dream. You took a train to the mountains. Then a bus. Then you walked for three hours into the Aokigahara forest until you found it. A tiny wooden restaurant with no sign, no menu, and no wifi. An old man stands behind the counter. He doesn't greet you. He nods. This is the shokunin (職人 - a master craftsman who dedicates his entire life to perfecting one single craft). He has been making pizza in this forest for 41 years. He has never made anything else. He does not know what a calzone is and he does not care to learn. He begins. Every movement is kodawari (こだわり - intense pursuit of perfection no matter how small the detail). The dough has been fermenting for 72 hours. He stretches it with hands that have stretched ten million circles. He does not use a rolling pin. A rolling pin would be an insult. He places it into a wood-fired oven he built himself from stones he carried down the mountain. He lights a cigarette. The cigarette is part of the process. The ash never falls on the pizza. It wouldn't dare. This is his ikigai (生き甲斐 - reason for being). His ikigai is pizza and nicotine in a forest where nobody can find him. He has achieved what no LinkedIn influencer ever will. He is in a permanent state of mushin (無心 - state of complete flow where the ego dissolves and only the craft remains). His cortisol does not exist. He has never heard of mogging. He has never mogged or been mogged because there is nothing in the forest to mog. He slides the pizza across the counter. No plate. Just wood. You take one bite and understand that every pizza you've eaten before this moment was goyslop. This is kanpeki (完璧 - absolute perfection). You start crying. He lights another cigarette, crosses his arms slowly behind his back and looks out the window at the trees. He does not care that you are crying. He has seen men cry before. The pizza does this to people. You never go back to America. You become his deshi (弟子 - apprentice). You spend 8 years learning to stretch dough. Eight years of silence. Eight years of watching. Eight years of cigarette smoke and forest rain and flour on your hands. You do not complain. Complaint would be an insult to the craft. One morning the master steps aside from the oven. He does not say anything. He simply looks at you and nods. The same nod he gave you the day you arrived. You touch the oven for the first time. The heat meets your hands and something inside you is finally complete. The master lights a cigarette, crosses his arms behind his back, and watches. You are fully present. You are making pizza. You are free.

>be me >15 majors. 82 PGA Tour wins. $1.8 billion net worth. >4 DUIs. undefeated. >they call it the Tiger Slam when you win all four majors in a row >i also call it the Tiger Slam when i get all four DUIs in a row >tonight is number four >doing 64 in a 35 because that's was my score to win the 1997 US Open and i honor it >Ambien and Vicodin doing the driving tonight >i tell myself its all in the wrists as i practice my club release with the steering wheel >SUV lands sideways on the grass beside the road >"still on the fairway. i never miss the fairway." >cop walks up, flashlight in my face >"sir do you know why i pulled you over" >"because you couldn't keep up with my swing speed" >blow a .00, new personal best >i smile >"the goat always chases records" >people ask "Tiger, why don't you just hire a professional driver?" >"why don't i just hire someone to hit the golf ball for me?" >15 major championships. 4 major DUIs. GOAT status in two sports. >no one in history has dominated two completely different fields like this >gretzky never even got a speeding ticket >jordan's gambling couldn't even get him arrested >they'll make a 30 for 30 about both careers >i am the greatest to ever live >this is my legacy.

Imagine this: The year is 2027. You just typed "build me a mass liquidation scalper that front-runs whale unwinds on ETH perps, takes profit at 8%, and hedges delta-neutral across three exchanges" into a text box. Like a normal person. In English. 47 seconds later you're staring at a backtest curve that looks like it was drawn by God having a good day. 214% annualized. Max drawdown 3.1%. Sharpe ratio so high your risk manager quits on the spot because his job no longer exists. You hit deploy. The strategy goes live across six venues simultaneously and begins executing flawlessly. Your Neuralink buzzes. It's Elon. "Bro I need a loan. xAI can't autonomously trade assets yet and Robonet is eating my lunch. Just a few hundred million should be enough" You mute the call. A hyperdimensional intergalactic prime Emma Watson Space Latina in your harem glances at your equity curve and whispers "you should add a mean-reversion overlay for ranging markets, papi." You type it in. Five words. The Sharpe ratio goes up by 0.4. You didn't write a single line of code. You just had ideas. Quants with PhDs and gold medals in Chinese math olympiads at Jane Street are cortisolmaxxing while you're strategymaxxing in basketball shorts.

We can’t rebuild it, we don’t know how.

Guys only want one thing and its fucking disgusting

Can vouch. Followed this dude when he was at 20.

Go through my reply history and tell me I’m not. You’ll be able to tell people you followed me when I had 300 followers when I’m I’m 300k.

>be me >scrolling twitter at 10pm >see some account called @agentmaximalist in a reply thread >he replies to some guy saying "I’mtop 5 follow on this app" >i laugh >bro you have 300 followers >top 5 follow of WHAT >he dares me in his replies to go through his history >"scroll and tell me i'm wrong" >fine >i'll humble this man >click profile >sort by replies >first reply is about coming home after school in 2000 after a patch dropped in your favorite MMO >it's good >really good actually >ok one lucky reply >scroll down >reply about Alysa Liu mogging at the Olympics >BANGER >i sit up straighter >scroll down >random tweet about Jeffrey Epstein >he replied with a greentext about jerky >i read the whole thing >HOLY FUCK >my jaw is physically open >i'm alone in my room and i just said "no way" out loud >keep scrolling >a looksmaxer got caught HAIRFISHING live on stream >he wrote a greentext about it >i'm not going to describe what i just read >because no combination of words i could type would prepare you for what this man wrote >it might be the greatest thing i have ever read on the internet >and i was there for the golden age of 4chan > this is better than shakespeare >he’s a modern shakespeare >i am now trembling >my hands are shaking >i drop my phone on the floor >I can’t control myself >i don't care >i pick it back up and keep scrolling >every single reply is a masterpiece >this man has been posting weapons-grade content to 300 people >picasso was painting in a closet >shakespeare was performing for an empty theater >@agentmaximalist was dropping the funniest content in the history of the english language and his audience was basically a group chat >he wasn't lying in his reply to me >he was being humble >i have never been this early to anything in my life >i was late to bitcoin >i was late to amazon >i was late to every trend that ever mattered >but i am EARLY to @agentmaximalist >it is 2:14 AM >i call my best friend >he doesn't answer because it's 2:14 AM and he's a normal person >i call again >he picks up >"someone better be dead" >"you need to follow @agentmaximalist right now" >he hangs up >i text him the hairfishing greentext >he calls me back in 4 minutes >"i'm following him" >i spend all of saturday telling every person i know >the barista at my coffee shop >my uber driver >i showed my dentist a greentext while he had both hands in my mouth >he followed >mfw i found the funniest person alive at 300 followers and my entire personality is now telling strangers about it like a street preacher who found god

Fan art of one of my posts. I love it.

This was a work of art. God bless you.

This is beautiful.

It blows our mind that Bawls was unable to pivot into the current gaming culture. New generation doesn't even know the legend of Bawls. Bawls was THE DRINK. If you gamed, if you went to LANs, you drank Bawls. They sponsored all the events. It was iconic. It embodied an entire culture. Then one day, it just sort of fizzled out. The company is still around but it's a skeleton crew and they've never really recaptured the gaming spirit. They never even targeted the streamers. No idea what happened. It's a beloved brand.

Don't copy anyone that is telling you they are using their agents to make money. They are either lying to you or they (and now their followers) have already exploited that alpha to the point there is none left for you. The trick is to be smart enough to know who isn't full of sh*t and then do something similar, but tangential to what they are doing. Find the unexploited paths.

Imagine this: The year is 2000. You're thirteen years old. The bus drops you off at 3:15 and you're running. Not jogging. Running. Your backpack is slamming against your spine and you don't care because today is patch day. You burst through the front door. Your mom yells something about a snack. You don't hear her. You're already in the computer room. The chair is still warm from your older brother who just logged off. You hear the modem screech its ancient hymn. The connection holds. You're in. The login screen has changed. New music. New art. Your heart is beating like you just discovered fire. The server list loads and your server is FULL. Not high. FULL. Everyone is online. Every single person you have ever met in this game is logged in right now. Your buddy list is lit up like a Christmas tree. There's Kyle from two streets over. Tyler from third period. That kid Danny you met on an IGN forum six months ago who goes to Jefferson Middle School across town and you've never seen his face but he's one of your best friends on earth. You load into the main city and there are players EVERYWHERE. People are standing around the new NPCs in crowds so thick your frame rate drops to nine. Someone in world chat types "NEW CLASS IS INSANE" and your hands start shaking. There's a new class. There are new zones. There are monsters you've never seen before. There's a sword in someone's hand that glows a color you didn't know existed in this game. You open the patch notes. They're eleven pages long. You read every word like it's scripture. New armor sets. New dungeons. A level cap increase. A whole continent you've never set foot on. The map has areas that just say "???" and that three question marks hit your brain like pure serotonin. Someone in guild chat says "yo come to the new zone we found a dragon." You don't walk. You don't take the portal. You run there on foot because the new zone is so new that portals don't connect yet and the run itself is part of the magic. Every creature you pass is something you've never seen. You die twice to mobs you didn't know existed and you're laughing. You find your guild at the dragon. There are thirty of you. Nobody knows the mechanics. You wipe four times. Kyle's mom makes him get off at 7. Danny has to eat dinner but says he'll be back in fifteen minutes. He comes back in eight. Tyler discovers that the dragon drops a shield that nobody in the game has ever equipped before. He wins the roll. He equips it in front of everyone and you all stand in a circle and look at it like cavemen discovering metal. It's 11pm. You have school tomorrow and you do not care. Your mom has told you to get off the computer three times. You are exploring a cave that isn't on any wiki because wikis have not yet been invented. Nothing has been datamined. Nothing has been optimized. Nobody knows the best build. Nobody knows the meta. You are all wandering blind through a world that is brand new to every single human being experiencing it. This is the purest form of joy that has ever existed. No drug will touch it. No amount of money will recreate it. You will spend the rest of your life getting rich, getting successful, getting everything you thought you wanted, and none of it will hit like nine FPS in a new zone with your friends at 11pm on a school night in the year 2000. Past generations never had it. Future generations will have better graphics and worse magic. The internet was still innocent. The games were still mysterious. Your friends were still a buddy list away. You had to be there. And if you were, you already know that nothing since has ever come close.

>be me >need money >hatch the perfect plan >remember lemon juice is invisible ink on paper >if it makes ink invisible it must make faces invisible >this is bulletproof logic >squeeze entire lemon on face >it burns >eyes watering >doesn't matter i'm about to be the invisible man >test it first because i'm not an idiot >take a polaroid selfie >photo comes out blank >theory confirmed >walk into first bank >no mask no disguise just vibes and citrus >rob it successfully >feeling unstoppable >walk into second bank same day >smile directly into the security camera >not a nervous smile >a confident smile >the smile of a man who believes he is literally invisible >get home and enjoying being rich >police air the footage on the evening news >my lemon glazed face in 480p on every TV in pittsburgh >arrested within one hour >cops show me the tape >stare at the screen in disbelief >say out loud "but I wore the juice" >investigators check the polaroid camera >the lemon juice got in my eyes and the camera was aiming at the ceiling when I took the selfie >mfw my crime was so stupid it became a psychology paper >two cornell professors literally invented a new cognitive bias because of me >the dunning kruger effect >when you're so dumb you don't know you're dumb >i am patient zero >my face was never invisible >but my intelligence was

What a read. I laughed. I cried. And now, I am left with a longing that I'm not even sure wasn't always there... just beneath the surface.

Everything this said. This is peak. x.com/AgentMaximalist/status…

BURGERMOG ANALYSIS: McDonald's CEO (white sweater) PSL: 5.8/10 Clean NW1 hairline with a textbook corporate side part shows this man's barber is doing God's work. Blue eyes, decent interpupillary distance. Jawline is present but soft and you can tell this man has been quality controlling Big Macs for years. Midface ratio is slightly elongated. The sweater over collared shirt combo not so subtly states "I got my MBA at Harvard and I need you to know that." He's holding that burger like it personally owes him money. Brow ridge is flat. No hunter eyes whatsoever - these are the eyes of a man who approves quarterly earnings reports, not a man who hunts. Skin is clear though. Overall he's a boardroom 7 but a PSL 5.8. Corporate pretty, not genetically elite. Burger King CEO (apron) PSL: 6.4/10 This man is so brutally BURGERMOGGING the McDonald's CEO and that it's not even close. Salt and pepper hair. Stronger jawline with more defined gonial angle even from the pictured angle. The brow ridge actually exists. Nasolabial folds are deeper but they add character not age. Forearms visible and they're lean, not doughy. The Apple Watch is a minor fraud deduction but forgivable. He's wearing an apron that says "flame grilled since 1954" and he's eating his own product in the kitchen like a general eating with his troops. The McDonald's CEO is eating at what looks like a table in a conference room like a bureaucrat. The Verdict: Burger King CEO absolutely BURGERMOGS the McDonald's CEO with a 0.6 PSL differential. One man is eating a burger like he built the grill himself. The other is eating a burger like his PR team told him to. One has the jawline of a man who flame grills. The other has the jawline of a man who microwaves. The burger wars are settled not by revenue but by bone structure and the King takes the crown here.

Haters will say that Khamenei wasn't terminally framemogged by USA Country Leader.