Holla If Ya Hear Me 💪

USA. A breakfast counter. The waitress recommended the biscuits and gravy, and when the plate arrived, I thought something had gone wrong in the kitchen. I say this with shame. The dish looked like a construction site after rain. Pale mounds. Gray ladle-fall. Speckles I could not identify. In my land, the eye eats first. A meal is arranged like a garden. This meal was arranged like weather. "Is it… finished?" I asked, carefully. "Honey, that's what it looks like." The man beside me was already eating his. He did not look up. "Just try it." I am a man who has charged hillsides at dawn. I raised the fork. I tried it. I must now formally apologize to the biscuits, the gravy, the waitress, the kitchen, and the entire breakfast tradition of the American South. It was magnificent. Warm. Peppered. The biscuit drank the gravy the way a field drinks rain — THAT is why it is shaped like that, you fool — and every mound I had insulted was a soft fold of comfort that my homeland, in eight hundred years, never once thought to invent. "Well?" the waitress asked. "I judged it," I confessed. "By its appearance. I am ashamed." "Everybody does, hon." Everybody does. A national dish that forgives you for doubting it. It expects the doubt. It waits for you on the other side of it. Do not judge the gravy by its face. Judge yourself, for hesitating. I order it every Saturday now. I no longer see the construction site. I see only the garden. It was a garden the whole time. The eye must be trained.

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving. Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free. I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these." "They just come with the table, man." They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner. This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat. I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared. "Did we…?" "Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless." Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined. My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude." Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man. I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy. Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived. I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most. Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

The CIA invented rap music to prevent white boys like this from taking over. They had to demolish the Twin Towers just because Limp Bizkit filmed their Rollin’ video on the roof. We were so close to a thousand-year wigger reich.

Jonesy has been shot in Fortnite lore. Presumed dead.

The best kitty in the world!!

Who else is hitting the bench today? 💪

F**k it, retweet this, comment #SteinerMathDay and someone’s gonna get a hookup from Big Poppa Pump!

Let’s be clear, #steinermathday is more important then any other Holiday. 4th of July - ain’t got shit on Steiner Math Day Christmas - that guy in the red suit needs some Steiner Supplements & a gym Halloween - feeding kids sugar & junks so they all hail from the Great State of Obesity None of these even come close. Share this and use #steinermath day and let’s prove to all these losers that Steiner Math is the greatest day in the history of mankind.

Akron represent 🫡

Bionicle Heroes (2006)

Kopaka awaits in Hyperborea

I was at a bar in Hudson, Michigan for .99 PBR night. I had a book and was watching the @tigers Dude sat down next to me and when the Tigers brought in their closer, the commentator mentioned Todd Jones. I snorted. Dude said “not a Todd Jones guy?” I told him how much contact relievers give me heart issues and that I never trusted dudes who loaded the bases to force double plays. I was talking to Todd Jones.

ビジネスの上に立っていること

Thank u to everyone who keeps on listening. New music is on the way.

Ironically I would say Metallica should be 1. Unironically this is the worst list I’ve ever seen regardless of where Metallica is. But Metallica should be higher either way