@benasher profile picture
Ben Asher @benasher
Joined February 2009
  • Tweets 1,503
  • Following 0
  • Followers 444
105 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
Ben Asher@benasher
15 Aug 2018
Roe vs. Wade doesn't make sense to many people. I think the Supreme Court should rule that the Miami Heat must sign both Roe and Wade to play together.
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Ben Asher@benasher
10 May 2023
The recording on my doctor's office phone says "If this is a true medical emergency hang up and dial 911" But it never tells me what to do in a fake medical emergency.. which is especially unfortunate for hypochondriacs who are having a true-fake medical emergency.
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Ben Asher@benasher
9 Nov 2022
TONIGHT! The @nycomedyfest presents #ArthurAvenue Comedy with Ben Asher 9pm Stand-Up Comedy in the Bronx @ClintonHallNY 601 E 189th st Top comics perform long sets @himishahan @julianna_maher @benasher @MichaelHComedy RSVP for FREE ArthurAve.eventbrite.com #NYComedy #makeNYlaugh
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Ben Asher@benasher
9 Nov 2022
TONIGHT! Presented by @nycomedyfest 9pm Stand-Up Comedy in the Bronx on #ArthurAvenue @ClintonHallNY 601 E 189th st Top comics perform long sets on 11/9 @himishahan @julianna_maher @benasher @MichaelHComedy RSVP for FREE ArthurAve.eventbrite.com #NYComedy #makeNYlaugh #Fordham
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Ben Asher@benasher
9 Nov 2022
Arthur Avenue Comedy with Ben Asher is TONIGHT! at Clinton Hall Bronx with @himishahan @julianna_maher @benasher @MichaelHComedy
New York Comedy Festival@nycomedyfest
9 Nov 2022
We're keeping it going tonight with shows from @jennyslate , Kiki Funny Mama's Night Out, Would You Bang Him? and Zach Zimmerman: We Need To Talk! #makeNYlaugh nycomedyfestival.com
Ben Asher@benasher
30 Oct 2022
Wednesdays! 9pm Stand-Up Comedy in the Bronx on #ArthurAvenue @ClintonHallNY 601 E 189th st Top comics performing long sets on November 2nd @carmenlagala @JayNog @benasher Ben Miller @LauraHigh5 RSVP for FREE ArthurAve.eventbrite.com #NYC #CtComedy #NYComedy #makeNYlaugh #Fordham
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Ben Asher@benasher
1 Oct 2022
Catch me on stage tonight in Queens on @CharlesMcBee's Nerd Is The New Black @QEDAstoria at 7:30pm. This is always a great show.
Charles McBee@CharlesMcBee
1 Oct 2022
Tonight don't miss another NErd Is The New Black at @QEDAstoria ITs gonna be a banger.
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Ben Asher@benasher
14 Sep 2022
If Jesus were alive today he would have become an OB-GYN who performs abortions.
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Ben Asher@benasher
14 Sep 2022
Wednesdays! 9pm Stand-Up Comedy in the Bronx on #ArthurAvenue @ClintonHallNY 601 E 189th st Top comics performing long sets on 9/14 @IbrahimKhalif83 @benasher @funnyaaron James Mac @ginnyhogan_ @hothingsgirlsay RSVP for FREE ArthurAve.eventbrite.com #NYC #CtComedy #NYComedy
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Ben Asher@benasher
14 Sep 2022
The UK is a nation of great actors. Millions of people performing ceremonial, symbolic mourning of a ceremonial, symbolic monarch.
Ben Asher@benasher
14 Sep 2022
I'm the best kept secret on twitter. So don't ruin it.
Ben Asher@benasher
28 Aug 2022
The reason why Donald Trump was keeping so many documents containing human intelligence sources is because he was hoping they would finally give him some human intelligence.
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Ben Asher@benasher
28 Aug 2022
Spending any amount of your life posting on twitter in order to gain more followers is behavior worse than trolling. Have something urgent to say.
Ben Asher@benasher
28 Aug 2022
Apps that tell you how big your fetus is compared to sizes of fruits or vegetables is really useful if you want to eat more than just the placenta after you give birth, but you don't know how many cannibals to invite for dinner.
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Ben Asher@benasher
28 Aug 2022
Every Monday! 9pm Stand-Up Comedy in the Bronx on Arthur Avenue @ClintonHallNY 601 E 189th st Featuring top comics performing long sets on August 29th @brianjian @benasher @glennjcohen @Fatdocdee Chris Warren RSVP for FREE ArthurAve.eventbrite.com #NYC #CtComedy #NYComedy
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Ben Asher@benasher
20 Aug 2022
Every Monday! 9pm Stand-Up Comedy in the Bronx on Arthur Avenue @ClintonHallNY 601 E 189th st Featuring top comics performing long sets on August 15th @aaaaronweaver @IncomparableMsC @ChrisCyrComedyy @daniel_vezza @benasher RSVP for FREE ArthurAve.eventbrite.com #NYC #Comedy
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Ben Asher@benasher
20 Aug 2022
I just witnessed a conversation with a wackjob Texas gun nut who actually said, "I'm not anti-abortion... Just anti-roe v wade... I'm pro-choice." I'd hate to know what he'd be against if he claimed to be anti-abortion.
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Ben Asher@benasher
14 Aug 2022
Every Monday! 9pm Stand-Up Comedy in the Bronx on Arthur Avenue @ClintonHallNY 601 E 189th st Featuring top comics performing long sets on August 15th @garysharpcomedy @patriciadiddy @benasher @tommyamado @notannefrankk RSVP for FREE arthurave.eventbrite.com #NYC #Fordham #Comedy
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Ben Asher@benasher
14 Aug 2022
Stay tuned for upcoming tour dates for my new hour of stand-up comedy: "Genital Inspections"
Ben Asher@benasher
8 Aug 2022
Every Monday! 9pm Stand-Up Comedy in the Bronx on Arthur Avenue @ClintonHallNY 601 E 189th st @benasher presents top comics performing long sets. 8/8 @benasher will be work-shopping material for his new half-hour RSVP for FREE arthurave.eventbrite.com #NYC #Fordham
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Ben Asher@benasher
24 Jul 2022
Every Monday! 9pm Stand-Up Comedy in the Bronx on Arthur Avenue @ClintonHallNY 601 E 189th st Featuring long sets on 7/25 by @ginnyhogan_ @benasher @JewAnon @unoonix and Greg & Rob Cardazone RSVP for FREE to be in raffle for free drinks arthurave.eventbrite.com #Fordham #NYC
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