@blade_funner profile picture
The Notorious B.E.V. ๐ŸŒˆ @blade_funner

A complicated lady. Avi by Paul X. Johnson. @slackjawhumor, @pointsincase, @csmonitor, The Funny Times. More funny at medium.com/@bevpotter

Joined August 2010
  • Tweets 51,283
  • Following 2,392
  • Followers 10,321
1,064 Photos and videos
[GOD INVENTING THE WEASEL] You know what we need? An otter you can't fucking trust.
139
9,718
19,157
I miss the good old days when people only set off fireworks one day out of the year.
1
2
90
Itโ€™s like having Kenny Powers as president.
1
93
The Notorious B.E.V. ๐ŸŒˆ retweeted
popsee@qopsee99
Jun 13
They be having more fun in the HIV commercials than I do in real life
40
1,599
26,208
524,948
The Notorious B.E.V. ๐ŸŒˆ retweeted
Jon@ArfMeasures
2 May 2019
Me: There's no lamb Chef: Then grill the chicken Me *shining light on chicken's face* tell us where the lamb is, you son of a bitch
23
1,439
8,155
The Notorious B.E.V. ๐ŸŒˆ retweeted
heather@prettyalbatross
Jun 12
millennials are always saying some shit like "i have childhood trauma because some of my classes were in a trailer"
The๐ŸŒ™Magician
@ArmoredNorman
Jun 11
There is a particular subset of Millenials who feel "lost to time" because they were born at the precise moment where their entire time in Elementary, Middle, and High School was spent in these temp classrooms while their younger siblings had a normal life in the new buildings.
37
179
5,580
254,450
So I found the insane Facebook marketplace account and thought it was funny, and Iโ€™m getting vile hate tweets. WTF is wrong with people.
1
1
2
252
The Notorious B.E.V. ๐ŸŒˆ retweeted
Will Sennett@Senn_Spud
25 Nov 2022
Soccer I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty sweaty ruined one
55
7,257
68,986
Every siren in America should go off
Old Man Lefty@OldManLefty1
Jun 11
If he dies, and you're sleeping, do you want us to wake you?
1
12
415
I just donated to 15/10 Foundation! Will you join me in supporting their cause? secure.qgiv.com/for/violet13โ€ฆ
59
If anybody needs me, I'm going to be scrolling this account for the indefinite future
insane facebook marketplace items
@insanemrktplace
Jun 8
Michael Jackson And Blanket ($400)
13
317
10,893
641,798
The Notorious B.E.V. ๐ŸŒˆ retweeted
๐“ฒ๐“ฌ๐“ฎ
@be_like_ice
Jun 10
cat parents will hear their cat go "mrrrp" in a certain tone and be like "oh hold on my cat wants the heating pad turned on"
51
2,076
33,414
1,109,499
The Notorious B.E.V. ๐ŸŒˆ retweeted
Blake Griffin
@blakegriffin23
15 Aug 2011
Accidentally hit a squirrel yesterday in my car. Feel so guilty I could barely sleep. Casey Anthony is a monster.
457
41,135
135,287
Me reading the word "Wednesday": ๐“Œโ‚‘๐’นโ‚™โ‚‘โ‚›๐’นโ‚แตง
1
1
4
187
What a wonderful time to be alive
1
3
142
The Notorious B.E.V. ๐ŸŒˆ retweeted
Cat Damon@CornOnTheGoblin
Jun 9
date: im so wet me: [just sneezed while eating soup] im so sorry
4
632
11,597
230,494
The Notorious B.E.V. ๐ŸŒˆ retweeted
huntigula@huntigula
13 Mar 2023
iPhone: Iโ€™m gonna update your software tonight while u sleep *next morning* iPhone: I couldnโ€™t do it bro. just didnโ€™t feel right. vibe was off
43
3,251
35,388
996,772
The Notorious B.E.V. ๐ŸŒˆ retweeted
Amber Joy@officialambrjoy
18 Sep 2017
How come when a house is 'haunted' its always a ghost from the 1700s? imagine a ghost from 2007 screaming "ITS BRITNEY BITCH" at 3 am.
324
32,194
91,293
How do I make all the translated tweets stop.
1
1
137
The Notorious B.E.V. ๐ŸŒˆ retweeted
terminally onฮปine ฮตngineer
@tekbog
Jun 8
we have to find a way to communicate with them
Nature Unedited
@NatureUnedited
Jun 7
Scientists discovered that octopuses sometimes punch fish for seemingly no reason at all
0:10
190
15,152
236,580
3,161,550
I still canโ€™t get over that people are falling in love with computers. This isnโ€™t Bladerunner.
1
1
1
107
Load more