(i don’t use twitter anymore.) finance reporter & satire writer. work in @newyorker @salon @nerdwallet @theonion @marketwatch @mcsweeneys @reductress more.
Joined November 2011
- Tweets 9,382
- Following 560
- Followers 1,948
- Likes 32,055
1,424 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
5 Feb 2023
✌🏻 More or less bidding farewell to Twitter! I’m @carachute on IG & I’m a pretty chill follow. My brain is so happy I’m finally typing this sign-off. Why? Because this place is bad for brains. Happy Sunday, have a wonderful week, and protect your big beautiful brains! 🧠💚
2
6
1,019
21 Jul 2024
Breaking my three-year twitter hiatus to say: if they run Buttigieg as the VP, all the campaign signs would be “HARRIS BUTTIGIEG” and we could spray paint them to say “HARRI BUTT”
2
13
678
22 Jan 2023
If you’ve seen SKINAMARINK without fleeing the theater you would’ve been fine in Desert Storm
1
3
669
Cara Michelle Smith retweeted
7 Jan 2023
it’s all renaissance paintings tonight
85
2,509
26,106
1,927,725
Cara Michelle Smith retweeted
1 Jan 2023
BEHOLD: the cover for EVERYBODY’S FAVORITE, my disgusting debut essay collection from @deystreet! it’s packed with Y2K humiliation 💋 in fact, if you pre-order it *right now* post your receipt, i will assign you one (1) humiliating Y2K moment harpercollins.com/products/e…
13
14
68
30,248
Cara Michelle Smith retweeted
30 Dec 2022
The CEO-to-worker pay ratio at Home Depot is 455:1.
neverleave.substack.com/p/75…
29 Dec 2022
Home Depot co-founder says 'socialism' killed motivation to work: 'Nobody gives a damn' trib.al/UC8XAcE
427
6,359
56,468
4,014,438
27 Dec 2022
Making it a matter of public record that my wild card bet for the 2024 Democratic Presidential nominee is none other than Prince Harry
1
3
549
Cara Michelle Smith retweeted
18 Dec 2022
HOUSTON: The arctic blast arriving Thursday will be different than what hit in February 2021. It will present its own unique set of challenges including the possibility of a “flash freeze.” NOW is the time to prepare, and here are some thing you can do. A 🧵 1/
168
5,076
13,918
3,635,281
Cara Michelle Smith retweeted
16 Dec 2022
In lieu of racking up women & money like equally material possessions, @brckhmptn opted to explore their psyches as outcasts, addicts, mourners, and tough guys who didn’t always like their impulse to be tough guys | bit.ly/3V5nW4v
📷 by @lapommedeterre & @thisisminnow
2
2
1,422
8 Dec 2022
I wrote about the complicated experience of being a woman & queer person who loves hip-hop, and how @brckhmptn carved out a joyful, saturated sanctuary in a genre that (at least in the mainstream) often doesn't love us back. 💛💛
For @floodmagazine: floodmagazine.com/123065/bid…
2
2
9
8 Dec 2022
THANK GODDDDD she’ll be coming home. the lack of national concern over her entrapment in Russia was so shitty though. imagine if Kevin Durant was imprisoned in Russia for 10 months? it’s all we’d talk about.
US officials: Russia frees WNBA player Brittney Griner in prisoner swap, with US releasing Russian arms dealer Viktor Bout.
1
6
8 Dec 2022
even more disgusting is the reason Griner was in Russia: because so many women have to play overseas during their off-seasons because they make $0 playing basketball in the US.
1
4
8 Dec 2022
so, she was forced to play in Russia because of systemic sexism. then, when she got imprisoned, nobody cared because of that same systemic sexism (and loads of racism & homophobia, ofc). my god. IT’S SO SHITTY!
2
Cara Michelle Smith retweeted
7 Dec 2022
We’re asking readers to not engage in any @nytimes platforms tomorrow and stand with us on the digital picket line! Read local news. Listen to public radio. Make something from a cookbook. Break your Wordle streak.
2,402
15,157
48,168
7 Dec 2022
this is not a person vomiting — this is a person who loooooves broccolini & is eating it so quickly it hurts :(
1
21
Cara Michelle Smith retweeted
6 Dec 2022
Some of my fellow commerce team members were laid off today, by email, without warning, right before the holidays (but right *after* Black Friday, of course). And dozens of others across the company.
This industry is fucking hell and my heart breaks for everyone affected
BuzzFeed Lays Off 12% of Employees variety.com/2022/digital/new…
1
4
14
Cara Michelle Smith retweeted
5 Dec 2022
mRNA vaccines are cool but also the modern era gave us Kelly Clarkson being able to sing whatever/whenever on television 4 days a week
4
23
5 Dec 2022
this is actually a scene from BRIDESMAIDS (2011) when Kristin Wiig’s in bed with Jon Hamm
2