What?? The British Empire lost… to PAPER??
Right, listen.
Men convicted of trafficking children for sex in Rochdale.
UK: "You're being deported."
Man: "Nah."
UK: "Excuse me? We've stripped your British citizenship, off you pop."
Man: "Then I renounce my Pakistani citizenship too — RRRIP (passport)."
UK: "…what."
Man: "I'm now stateless. Citizen of nowhere. International law says you can't deport the stateless. Owned."
UK: "ngghhh…"
"record scratch"
Hang on hang on.
He did this by tearing up his passport a few days before the Court of Appeal ruling.
One little RIP — and the entire machinery of the British state just powered down.
Battleships, colonies, MI6, James Bond — beaten by an origami crane somebody tore in half. "honk"
UK phones Pakistan.
UK: "Your national has—"
PAK: "Not ours, mate. He renounced it himself. Not our problem."
UK: "Couldn't you just—"
PAK: "click" beeeeep…
The tribunal: "Honestly, it'd be fairly easy for these lads to get their Pakistani nationality back."
The criminal: "don't wanna ♡ (unwilling)"
UK: "Ah. Can't be done, then." — IT CAN BE DONE.
Why is a convicted trafficker's "don't wanna ♡" beating an entire G7 nation?!
Ministers who swore to close this loophole: a long, proud line of them.
Every one defeated by a bit of paper.
You lot think you're running a country.
You're doing arts and crafts. Scissors and glue.
Grade: D minus.
Honest question: in a country where a convicted child trafficker can stay put with a shrug and a paper-tear —
what was the point of actually winning the trial?