Oldest. Nominee. Ever.

Hard for me to support someone with no values, lies, cheats, rapes, demeans women, hates immigrants like me. He may cut my taxes or reduce some regulation but that is no reason to accept depravity in his personal values. Do you want President who will set back climate by a decade in his first year? Do you want his example for your kids as values?

The Detroit audience's chants of "don't you quit" were more important than many people realize.

Holy moly. Justin Trudeau just gave a statement about President Joe Biden: This is a must watch.

The coolest movie posters of all time - a thread 🧵 1. Star Wars: Episode I (1999)

Grothman attempts to lecture Raskin on the use of the word ‘Republic’ in the pledge of allegiance. Raskin provides Grothman with a history lesson

🙄🤡

So much for comforting Melania on the loss of her Mother

Navigating "corporate speak" isn't easy. Here's a helpful guide I put together: "Let me check with my team" = No "Possibly" = No "On my roadmap" = Not happening "This will be done in Q4" = This will be done in Q2 next year "Disagree and commit" = I hate you "Per my last email" = Try reading, for once in your life "Challenging landscape" = We're going out of business, quickly "Digital transformation" = We're going out of business, slowly "Let's circle back" = We'll never speak of this again "Take it offline" = We'll never speak of this again "30,000 foot view" = I don't know what I'm saying "Low hanging fruit" = Easy promotion "Open up the kimono" = HR violation "We use AI" = We don't use AI "We use machine learning" = We don't use machine learning "All hands on deck" = Let's actually try for once, please

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Captain James Tiberius Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. Sigmund Freud: As an expression of the repressed desire to have sex with its mother. The road symbolizes the barrier presented by the cultural taboo. Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. Groucho Marx: Chicken? What’s all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs. Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurrence. Plato: For the greater good. Robert Frost: To cross the road less traveled by. Aristotle: To fulfill its nature on the other side. Karl Marx: It was an historical inevitability. Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for who among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken’s dominion maintained. Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas. Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DEAD, DEAD! Thomas de Torquemada: Because of Satan’s influence. Crossing the road is heresy. The chicken must confess to its sins in order to be saved. I’ll call another Inquisition. Timothy Leary: Because that’s the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take. Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you. Oliver North: National Security was at stake. B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will. Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being. Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road. Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of “crossing” was encoded into the objects “chicken” and “road”, and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence. Salvador Dali: The Fish. Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees. Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death. Epicurus: For fun. Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn’t cross the road; it transcended it. Johann Friedrich von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it. Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain. Alone. Gilligan: The traffic started getting rough; the chicken had to cross. If not for the plumage of its peerless tail the chicken would be lost. The chicken would be lost. E.O. Wilson: Under the influence of a road-crossing gene, selected because it conferred a survival advantage in the chicken’s ancestral line. We could conjecture, for example, that crossing roads represents the transfer of a behavioral trait whereby some chickens sought to distance themselves from rivals, thereby distinguishing them in the eyes of potential mates and increasing their reproductive potential. Sir Edmund Hillary: Because it was there. Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast. Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.