Where 'blend into the world' means 'lie, gaslight, manipulate, invade other people's spaces and talk out of both sides of my mouth'. Fuck off Buck you disingenuous bullshitter. We had all this shit with Hayton and his enablers.

God, this is dismal. Just get on with the racing already, and cut the crap. @Channel4 #boatrace

A hilarious April fools video made by the police

Did I see a #mouse run under door, just now, during @Peston interview with @KemiBadenoch?

Can you help us find Shada Weston, 16, who is missing from the Bungay area. She might have caught a train to Norwich or London and was last seen wearing a black puffa jacket, now with straightened hair. If you know where she is please contact us on 101, ref CAD 266 of 31 January

Very clever 😆😆😆😆

🍍 The word "pineapple" in different languages: 🇦🇿 ananas 🇧🇾 ананас 🇧🇬 ананас 🇭🇷 ananas 🇨🇿 ananas 🇩🇰 ananas 🇳🇱 ananas 🇪🇪 ananass 🇫🇮 ananas 🇫🇷 ananas 🇩🇪 Ananas 🇬🇷 ανανάς 🇭🇹 anana 🇭🇺 ananász 🇮🇸 ananas 🇮🇩 nanas 🇮🇪 anann 🇮🇹 ananas 🇱🇻 anannas 🇱🇹 ananasas 🇳🇴 ananas 🇵🇱 ananas 🇷🇴 ananas 🇷🇺 ананас 🇷🇸 ананас 🇸🇰 ananás 🇸🇮 ananas 🇸🇪 ananas 🇹🇷 ananas 🇬🇧 pineapple 😳 🇺🇦 ананас

He’s going to end up invading Graceland isn’t he

The odds of parachuting down and being attacked by kangaroo is very low, but never zero.

Klimt Eastwood

Tears For Fears legend Curt Smith and his daughter, Diva, singing an acoustic version of his band’s classic track ‘Mad World’. Now that’s Daddy Daughter connection!

Gardaí are seeking the public's assistance in tracing the whereabouts of 17-year-old Makayla Brady who is reported missing from Kinsealy, Co. Dublin since Sunday, 28th of December 2025. Makayla is described as being approximately 5 feet 2 inches tall, with brown hair and blue

RT @metpoliceuk: #MISSING | Have you seen Eliyas, 15? We believe he is in London but has links to Birmingham. He also has links to Leeds, w…

This is brilliant! 😂👏

"What are you in for?" "Watching the fireworks for free."

On every Irish corner at Christmas time

Tesco just arrived with the Christmas delivery. The driver handed me a bag and said ‘There’s a couple of substitutions, here’s your sprig of rosemary and haddock’ I said to him ‘This isn’t the thyme or the plaice’.

Right then here goes... ANNUAL RANT ALERT!! Triggered by adverts and TV chefs😠😠 Christmas Dinner.... I have concluded that the inevitable stress of Christmas dinner is created by adverts, supermarkets and TV chefs... It's a Sunday dinner for goodness sake!!! We do it quite happily 51 weeks of the year but can we the consumers be trusted to manage by ourselves on one day of the year...apparently not! Here goes... 1. Turkey... It's a big fecking chicken that's all, 20 minutes per lb plus 20 minutes at 180 degrees - jobs a good un! Get yourselves a meat thermometer £3 off the Internet poke it in the offending bird if it says 75 degrees or over it’s cooked! 2. Stuffing - regardless of what Jamie Oliver says you do NOT need 2lbs of shoulder of pork, onions breadcrumbs,pine nuts and a shit load of fresh herbs to make stuffing....( no fecking wonder he's bankrupt if thats what he spends to make stuffing!) What you need is Paxo and a kettle!! If you wanna liven it up squeeze 3 sausages out of their skins and mix that in with your Paxo before cooking 😉. 3. Gravy - Jamie Oliver is copping for this one aswell.... Gravy granules Jamie.... All you need is gravy granules! I ( nor any other woman I know) has got time on Christmas Eve to piss about roasting chicken wings and vegetables, adding stock and flour,cooking it for another half hour, mashing it all up with a potato masher and then straining the whole sorry mess to make gravy 😠😠😠 4. Vegetables... Never mind faffing round shredding sprouts and frying them with bacon and chestnuts to make them more palatable... If you don't like them don't buy and cook the fecking things!! If your family only eats frozen peas then that's good enough! 5. Roast potatoes... Yes I par boil mine then roast them in goose fat but Aunt Bessie also does the same 😉. 6. Trimmings /Christmas pudding and the like.... Aldi or Lidl! (oh and while we're on the subject of pudding- if birds custard is what your family likes on the wretched thing then that's fine - you do not need brandy butter /rum sauce etc or anything else that costs a fecking fortune and takes 2 hours to make!) 7. Family.... Children.. Feed the little blighters first separately, if they only want turkey with tomato sauce - fine leave em to it, it doesn't matter. Once they are fed bugger them off to play with their Christmas presents so that YOU can enjoy your dinner in Peace! Adults... Anyone that can manage to get their sorry arse to your dinner table is also capable of helping to serve up/ sort the kids out/ clear the table /wash up /dry up etc. And Finally..... NO ONE.... And I mean no one APART FROM THE COOK IS ALLOWED TO GET DRUNK AND FALL ASLEEP BEFORE THE WASHING UP IS DONE!!! Rant over 😂 Merry feckin Christmas!

Please everyone help. I am trying to do a Christmas miracle and make someone happy. Yesterday (21/12/25) in @Bullring we found this lost platinum wedding band. It is name and date engraved, and has more detail. I want to reunite it with its rightful owner. Retweets might help.

A valuable flute went missing yesterday from the owner's bike on the way to a lunchtime session in Cassidy's in Camden St. It has huge sentimental value and a reward has been offered. If anyone sees it, please send a DM. RTs appreciated.