Here you’ll find, humor(ish), bad music takes, horror movie talk, pro wrestling chat, and politics from someone who hates politics.
Joined May 2016
- Tweets 65,017
- Following 3,720
- Followers 12,188
- Likes 309,832
17,876 Photos and videos
Jared retweeted
Jun 10
Wait until they get to the part where we sacrifice a pop-tart
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Jun 12
This is like 200 in Wigger years
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Jun 12
“Liz Lemon, this is Dan Houseman.”
“It’s Danhausen.”
“Whatever his name is, I gave him 5 dollars to curse Martin Lawrence in 1996 and I’ve been on top ever since”
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Jared retweeted
Jun 11
Jeep threatens to give a Wrangler to 100 unfortunate Americans
Jeep is giving away 100 cars to Americans named George Washington if the US wins the World Cup
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Jared retweeted
Jun 11
The funny thing about Platner is YES he's got a nazi tattoo, a history of abusing women, he's denigrated rural maine, fantasized about rape, active on predator website, sexted a dozen women outside marriage..
but underneath all of that he's also terrible on politics and policy.
Jun 11
Graham Platner says families are "saddled with children" before the media training kicks in.
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Jared retweeted
if you like strawberry ice cream you should try cocaine
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Jared retweeted
Jun 11
First the Spurs steal the SKOL chant and now they are blowing leads in a championship game. Must they take everything from us?!
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Penis sculpture from A Clockwork Orange. The head pops open and popcorn is stored in the balls
Jun 9
You've just been put in charge of coming up with a popcorn bucket for a classic film. GO.
I'll start. Goodfellas Cadillac trunk.
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Jared retweeted
Jun 10
JUST IN: Trump reveals the U.S. has secretly been taking out “millions of barrels” of oil from Iran every night.
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Jared retweeted
Jun 10
Me, learning about ancient Roman aqueducts:
Jun 9
HOW THE FUCK DID THIS SHIT NOT LEAK
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Jared retweeted
Jun 10
“Your honor, this is only his first murder”
Jun 10
35 years on your first offense is over sentencing. Yea there has to be a retrial. This is blatant injustice.
Community note
Karmelo Anthony was found guilty of murder, not a standard "first offense" misdemeanor. Under Texas law, a first-degree murder conviction carries a sentence of 5 to 99 years or life in prison. The 35-year sentence falls well within legal guidelines. tpr.org/news/2026-06-0…
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Jared retweeted
•george’s will be a meditative drama about loss and grief
•paul’s will be a cameron crowe-ish slice of life comedic drama
•john’s will be a romantically messy, political drama
•ringo’s will be a shot for shot remake of scooby-doo on zombie island
Jun 9
Each of the 4 ‘BEATLES’ films will be “totally different” and will reflect each member.
(Source: thedirect.com/article/the-be…)
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Jared retweeted
Jun 9
So close! That’s a horse.
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S03E08 - 259 of 468
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Jun 8
Wemby’s drawing leaked:
Victor Wembanyama drawing with his sister in a park in NYC 🎨
(🎥: hoopsnation on IG)
#GoSpursGo #PorVida
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Jared retweeted
Jun 9
There’s a guy who’s gonna have to get through the Secret Service perimeter for the 10:30pm MANDALORIAN AND GROGU IMAX screening at AMC 34th Street
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Jared retweeted
Jun 8
“Sir, Germans have crossed the border and are advancing on Chattanooga”
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Jared retweeted
Jun 7
hiding it right under our noses this entire time
Jun 5
Seth Rogen reveals he has smoked weed all day every day since he was 20
“I smoke weed all day every single day since I was 20 years old”
“I equate it to shoes or glasses are shoes a crutch we use or are they a thing that we have culturally decided to make our lives easier and better that is exactly how weed is to me”
“Could I not wear shoes probably could I not smoke weed probably would I just much rather smoke weed all day yes”
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Jared retweeted
Jun 8
George Carlin's standup over footage of Splinter from the live Ninja Turtles show from the '90s 🤣 so good
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