Louis wakes up and throws his waves in a messy bun and goes downstairs to learn that Florence sold him to Vampire Lestat for her debt

THE NOT-SO-STRAIGHT TICKET: John Reid’s Wild Ride in Virginia Politics Introducing @JohnReid4VA , the rainbow-colored elephant in the room. Reid is the guy who walked straight out of Republican Central Casting before it got taken over by weirdos in red vests and people who think blackmail and extortion is a campaign strategy. This man’s résumé? It doesn’t just check the boxes—it wrote the boxes. He interned for Ronald Freaking Reagan. You know, the guy every @GOP claims to worship until they’re actually expected to act like him. Reid helped craft national messaging for the U.S. Senate (back when that meant more than tweeting angry emojis), advised fledgling foreign democracies—because apparently other governments actually value competence—and built grassroots coalitions here in Virginia to promote school choice, protect our history, and stand alongside law enforcement. But wait, there’s more! For the past eight years, Reid’s been the voice behind one of Virginia’s most influential conservative radio shows. While some radio hosts chase clicks and perform outrage cosplay, Reid actually used his airtime to fight for families, faith, and freedom across the Commonwealth. He didn’t ride the fame train, he drove the accountability bulldozer—and parked it right on the toes of the far left, the swamp creatures, and anyone trying to turn Virginia into the East Coast version of California. Reid shoved a flashlight into the dark corners of shady government ops, overreach and illegal mandates, using his mic like a broadsword for liberty. Now here’s the twist: John Reid is one of the most experienced, most credentialed, and most unapologetically conservative candidates Virginia has seen in years. And for that, the @VA_GOP establishment has treated him like he showed up to the donor dinner in drag and asked for a vegan option. This conservative talk-radio host turned candidate for lieutenant governor happens to be openly gay – a first for any statewide nominee in Virginia. At first, Republicans seemed proud of their “diverse” 2025 ticket: a Black woman (@winwithwinsome for governor), a Cuban American man (@JasonMiyaresVA for AG), and gasp a gay man (Reid) for LG. But hold the celebration. As soon as someone spotted glitter from a drag show on Reid’s shoes, the mood in Richmond went from Yass Queen to Yikes! faster than you can say, “family values.” @GovernorVA @GlennYoungkin – known for his presidential daydreams – suddenly looked like he’d seen a ghost (or worse, evangelical voters). Youngkin abruptly calls Reid up on a Friday morning freak-out and tells him to drop out over a scandal brewing on – wait for it – Tumblr. Yes, Tumblr, that bastion of high political intrigue that most people never heard of. Someone had surfaced a Tumblr account (using Reid’s typical username) that had been reposting photos of naked men – none of which featured Reid at all. The governor’s team who allegedly wanted to slide in a more obedient candidate saw this as an opportunity to declare the sky was falling. Reid denounced it as a “fabricated internet lie” planted to smear him and flat-out refused to abandon his campaign. Let’s pause here: a Republican governor who rode into office talking about unity and big tents is now leading a charge to oust his own nominee over some anonymous Tumblr posts. Bold strategy. Especially when tech-savvy sleuths on X quickly demonstrated just how laughably easy it is to forge a backdated social media account to impersonate someone. In other words, Youngkin got played by the political equivalent of a Nigerian prince email scam. Reid, understandably, was furious. He pointed out the obvious: he’s been openly gay for decades and never hidden who he is, so why would he suddenly start a covert Tumblr of nude photos for kicks? The whole episode reeked of a coordinated character assassination attempt. Sadly, the governor didn’t bother giving him the benefit of the doubt or even a chance to clear his name. The party of “innocent until proven guilty” sure found John Reid guilty in record time, with zero proof. So much for Reagan’s old 11th Commandment about not speaking ill of fellow Republicans – Youngkin tossed that one out the window and then set the rulebook on fire for good measure. DRAG QUEENS AND DOUBLE STANDARDS As if the phantom Tumblr wasn’t absurd enough, along came Scandal No. 2: the shocking revelation that John Reid has (brace yourselves) attended a drag show. Cue the clutching of pearls and a chorus of “Think of the children!” Never mind that Reid is a grown man in a free country where adult entertainment is perfectly legal – certain self-appointed morality police acted like he’d been caught sacrificing a goat under a full moon. To hear the outrage, you’d think Reid had just burned down the church rather than spend a night out on the town. Let’s inject a bit of sanity here: Going to a drag show is not a crime. It’s not immoral, it’s not “grooming,” it’s not an endorsement of Satan’s agenda – it’s an adult enjoying some music and comedy in fabulous makeup. John Reid even made clear that such shows are “not for kids,”and he’s never said otherwise. But of course, the faux outrage machine cranked into high gear. The same crowd that howls about freedom and small government decided it was their duty to police a candidate’s night-off entertainment. Hypocrisy much? These are folks who scream about individual liberty when it’s convenient, but apparently “liberty” ends where sequins and RuPaul might start. It’s telling that Reid’s actual policy stands – tough on crime, pro-business, pro-school choice – didn’t bother them, but the fact he once enjoyed a drag performance has them spiraling. If that’s the bar for disqualification, one has to wonder how many politicians (and outraged preachers) would survive scrutiny of their own private lives—Don’t worry, we are getting to that soon. Perhaps some are just jealous that Reid can pull off a fun evening without compromising his values. As Reid himself quipped to a crowd, if he can’t fight for himself “publicly, loudly and boldly,” how could voters trust him to fight for them? He’s right – and fighting for oneself includes having a life that doesn’t require apologizing to prudish political hall monitors. YOUNGKIN, SEARS & THE GREAT GOP SCHISM So how did this power play go over? Like a lead balloon. Reid flatly refused to quit, telling Youngkin (in essence) “Thanks, but no thanks, I’m not into quitting.” He then blasted out a defiant video on social media, painting himself as the victim of political hit jobs. He railed against “the politics that destroys people,” comparing his plight to what @realDonaldTrump endured from the moment he rode that golden escalator. Yes, Reid went there – invoking Trump’s martyrdom to fire up the GOP base. And you know what? It worked. Instead of shaming Reid into obscurity, the attempt to oust him made him a cause célèbre. Suddenly, this relatively unknown underdog was a martyr with a megaphone. Three weeks prior, Reid “could not borrow, steal or beg publicity”; now he’s drawing bigger crowds and louder cheers than anyone imagined and he is kicking butt and taking names on national media shows. THE PEOPLE LOVE REID! The base, it turns out, has little patience for intra-party shenanigans. Many grassroots Republicans shrugged at Reid’s orientation – and gave a collective “Meh, still better than a Democrat.” In fact, most GOP activists “do not care that Reid’s gay,” especially given his solid conservative creds. Contrary to every stereotype, the party of the religious right hasn’t (yet) burst into flames at the thought of a gay lieutenant governor. Lieutenant Governor Winsome Earle-Sears, the woman topping the GOP ticket, probably wanted to evaporate into a puff of smoke during all this drama. Sears initially stayed mum – perhaps busy practicing her I have nothing to do with this face in the mirror. Nearly a week into the fiasco, she finally piped up with a carefully-crafted statement on Facebook. It was the politest “not my circus, not my monkeys” you’ll ever read. Sears pointed out that We all have our own race to run. Not one for unity. Meanwhile, the GOP’s self-inflicted civil war raged on behind the scenes. Enter Matt Moran, Youngkin’s top political strategist and head of his PAC – a.k.a. the “fixer” in this melodrama. Reid didn’t name @mmoran0226 publicly at first, but he sure implied someone in Team Youngkin had tried to muscle him out. The bombshell came when Reid’s campaign sent a cease-and-desist letter accusing Moran of spreading lies and, oh yes, extortion. Extortion, as in telling Reid “the attacks will continue unless [he] drop[s] out”. According to Reid, Moran was basically saying “Nice campaign you got there, shame if something happened to it.” An offer you can’t refuse, GOP edition. Moran, for his part, broke out in righteous indignation. He loudly denied trying to force Reid out and insisted he was just giving friendly advice as a longtime pal. Sure, buddy. Just like a “friend” who holds your beer while suggesting you jump off a bridge. MATT MORAN AND THE CASE OF THE SMOKING AUDIO Things hit peak absurdity when an audio recording surfaced, throwing a wrench in Moran’s denials. Reid’s camp had apparently recorded a meeting where Moran spoke a little too freely. In the four-minute clip obtained by The Washington Post, Moran can be heard offering to help “tamp down” the scandal if Reid withdrew – and warning that if Reid stayed in the race, “it is going to continue… Him getting out of the race is the only way it stops”. Congratulations, that’s basically the textbook definition of political extortion (minus a horse’s head in Reid’s bed). Moran was caught with his voice on tape sounding like a bargain-bin mobster. Youngkin’s aide went from power player to pariah in record time. Amid growing fury from party activists and donors – many furious that the governor’s brain trust would kneecap an elected nominee – Moran “stepped aside” from his role in Youngkin’s PAC. Even fellow Republicans started piling on: a chorus of GOP voices demanded Youngkin give Moran the boot. The head of Virginia’s Log Cabin Republicans (the LGBTQ GOP group) fumed that firing Moran was “the only appropriate thing” Youngkin could do. In short, Moran’s heavy-handed attempt to play kingmaker backfired spectacularly. Instead of quietly ousting Reid, he sparked a full-on revolt in the party ranks. The Richmond Times-Dispatch might as well run the headline: “Local Man Shoots Own Foot, Claims It Proves He Never Needed Toes.” HOLY HYPOCRYISY, MEET REVEREND PEDO PRATT As if this saga needed more characters, let’s talk about Reverend Joshua Daniel Pratt – or as his family knew him, Joshua Daniel Solovskoy. Pratt is the holier-than-thou evangelical activist who lit the match that started this fire. Remember those photos of Reid at a drag show and the fuss over his “gay lifestyle”? Well, you can thank Pastor Pratt for broadcasting that to the world. On April 23, the Virginia Christian Alliance (VCA) posted an article by Pratt declaring John Reid’s candidacy a bridge too far – basically calling for the gay guy to get off the GOP ticket immediately. Pratt’s hit piece – oh sorry, “column” – warned that Reid’s “lifestyle” was “disqualifying” and would spark moral outrage among Christian voters. He even trotted out polling stats, claiming “10-15% of evangelicals could stay home” if a homosexual was on the ballot (Cue clutching of pearls.) In Pratt’s view, Reid would single-handedly tank the entire Republican ticket and, hyperbolically, “destroy Virginia”. Subtle, huh? To the surprise of no one, Pratt’s screed spread among GOP circles and piled pressure on party leaders. When Glenn Youngkin made that fateful call asking Reid to withdraw on April 25, it was just two days after Pratt’s article went live. Coincidence? I think not. It looks for all the world like Governor Y was swayed by a fire-and-brimstone rant from a guy hiding behind a pulpit. Talk about outsourcing your oppo research. Why get your hands dirty when a willing zealot will do it for you? Some observers bluntly noted that the @vachristian essentially used Pratt as a weapon to “blackmail/extort John Reid” in the name of “family values”. And here’s where the hypocrisy meter breaks: the Virginia Christian Alliance, which prides itself on “Promoting the God-Ordained Family Unit” and “Biblical Sexual Morality”, hitched its wagon to Reverend Joshua Pratt. They elevated this guy as a spokesperson for morality. A reverend – sounds trustworthy, right? Surely a man of God is beyond reproach? Well, bless their hearts… because nobody did their homework on this one. Meet Reverend Pratt, the self-styled guardian of Christian values who has enough skeletons in his closet to fill an entire cemetery. The Restoration News did a deep dive and found Pratt’s past is the stuff of sordid mini-series. For starters, Pratt isn’t even his original name – he used to go by Joshua Solovskoy until his mysterious name change years ago. According to his own estranged family, they only discovered he’d legally changed his name when they found court papers stuffed in a sock drawer. (Pro tip: if Dad suddenly has alias paperwork hidden in his socks, something ain’t right.) It gets worse – much worse. Pratt’s four adult sons have publicly accused him of horrific abuse over many years. We’re talking physical, emotional, psychological, and yes, sexual abuse. One son, Jeremiah, signed a sworn statement saying he was “molested and sexually abused as a young boy by Joshua Daniel Pratt”. Jeremiah and his brothers describe their childhood with Pratt as “living hell… [he] is an abuser, a molester, and a criminal” who should be in prison. Let that sink in: The man wagging his finger at John Reid’s drag show attendance has been accused by his own children of being a child molester and violent abuser. The Pratt sons were so terrorized that as soon as they were old enough, they banded together in 2014 to kick dear old dad out of the house for good. They even tried to file charges against him, but authorities told them the statute of limitations had run out. (Sadly, justice has an expiration date.) Reverend Pratt’s rap sheet of craziness doesn’t end there. He apparently ran his household like a cult leader. In one bat-guano crazy episode around 2013, Pratt convinced his family that God told him the East Coast was about to fall into the ocean. Yes, you read that right. He literally packed up the family and fled Virginia – first to Missouri, then to Texas – for months, waiting for the Apocalypse (which, shocker, never came). When the prophesied doomsday fizzled, they schlepped back to Lynchburg as if nothing happened. Can you imagine being one of those kids? That’s not a pastor; that’s a wannabe Jim Jones without the Kool-Aid (thankfully). Oh, and let’s not forget Pratt’s criminal record – because of course he has one. The “reverend” did time in Arizona after an aggravated DUI where he allegedly attacked police officers while intoxicated. He’s also left a trail of failed businesses and at least two bankruptcies, the most recent in 2021. Truly a paragon of virtue! Naturally, Pratt has since set himself up as a political moralist. He founded something called Action Mission, which he bills as a religious non-profit to coach Christians into becoming leaders. But – plot twist – he also runs a political PAC under the samename, soliciting funds for campaign activities on his ministry website. In case Civics 101 is rusty, mixing tax-deductible church donations with partisan electioneering is a huge IRS no-nor.. So this guy’s either totally brazen or hasn’t read Render unto Caesar… lately. Nothing screams “moral authority” like blurring the line between God’s work and a slush fund. Watch out for those VCA holy-rollers railing against Reid. Given all this, you’d expect the Virginia Christian Alliance to distance themselves faster than the Road Runner. Instead, they handed Pratt a megaphone. It was Pratt’s column that essentially launched the smear campaign against John Reid. The VCA’s president and Pratt’s bestie, Don Blake, apparently didn’t care. One has to wonder: What does he have on Blake and others? The hypocrisy is mind-blowing: an alleged child abuser posing as guardian of “family values,” an accused criminal lecturing about morality, a supposed man of God spreading half-truths to sabotage a fellow Christian conservative. You cannot make this stuff up. No wonder one commentator dubbed him “Reverend Pedophile” and blasted the Alliance’s glass house to pieces. When the VCA’s own flock starts calling your spokesman a predator, maybe it’s time to find a new spokesman – preferably one who hasn’t traumatized his entire family. BLACKMAIL, DOUBLE STANDARDS AND THE GOP'S COMEUPPANCE. At the end of the day, what have we learned from this circus? For one, we learned that the Virginia GOP can be its own worst enemy. John Reid’s candidacy brought latent tensions to the surface – traditionalist versus moderate, homophobe versus pragmatist. Rather than rally behind their nominee, party higher-ups nearly torpedoed him in a panic over what might happen in November. They fretted that evangelical voters would revolt over Reid’s sexuality. Governor Youngkin certainly had those “practical political calculations” in mind when he pushed Reid to withdraw. But those calculations were based on abstract fears, not reality. In reality, voters often surprise you. Just as evangelical Christians held their noses and voted for thrice-married, Playboy Donald Trump despite his glaring flaws. Many Virginia conservatives and even Democrats appear willing AND EXCITED to vote for John Reid despite (or even because of) the brouhaha over his private life. Reid is ardently anti-woke on issues like boys participation in girls' sports and gender surgeries for minors – positions much of the base loves. Faced with a choice between a liberal Democrat and a gay Republican who promises to “back the blue” and fight “indoctrination” in schools, even the most traditional voters are indicating they’ll hold the line for the GOP and they are psyched to do it! As one conservative quipped, it’d be “foolish” for evangelicals to stay home and effectively hand victory to a Democrat over this. And indeed, Reid’s growing rally crowds suggest Republicans are uniting behind him, dirty tricks be damned. Secondly, we’ve learned that hypocrisy has a short shelf life. Glenn Youngkin wanted to project a tolerant, big-tent image – until it became politically inconvenient for him. His inner circle then tried to do away with the inconvenient gay guy via backroom pressure and a borrowed Bible-thumper. Caught red-handed, they managed to alienate the very voters they feared losing. Nothing says “we care about your values” like orchestrating a scheme so underhanded it makes the “Richmond swamp” look like a kiddie pool (Reid’s words). And by enlisting Matt Moran and Reverend Pratt as a moral hitman, they exposed an ugly double standard: preaching about integrity while crawling in the gutter. The VCA and allies essentially attempted a moral high-ground shakedown – resign, or we’ll rain fire on you – even as their chosen enforcer wallowed in his own sin. It’s the kind of irony that would be hilarious if it weren’t so gross. In a final twist worthy of reality TV, the gambit to blackmail John Reid has only made him stronger. He’s now rolling into the general election with a surge of free publicity, more donors, and a potent narrative: I stood up to the corrupt political machinery of my own party. Reid is campaigning as the rebel who wouldn’t be controlled by the establishment – a message that resonates in our anti-establishment age. As he proclaimed to cheering crowds, “No more politics based on hate… no more dirty tricks. We must unite”. They roared, and frankly, it’s hard to blame them. After witnessing this farcical attempted takedown, Republicans of all stripes are closing ranks. Even Governor Youngkin sheepishly conceded he’ll support “the nominees and their ticket” going forward, grumbling that “Republicans need to win. That’s the bottom line.” SEX, LIES, AND HYPOCRISY So there you have it: a tale of sex, lies, and hypocrisy under the guise of Virginia politics. The GOP nearly imploded over one man’s sexuality, only to discover voters care more about beating Democrats than policing a candidate’s personal life. The self-appointed moral guardians turned out to be morally bankrupt themselves, and their plot blew up in their faces. As for John Reid, he’s on a roll – raising his profile, rallying the base, and riding a wave of backlash against the backstabbers. It’s a political reversal of fortune so dramatic it could make a preacher swear. Speaking of preachers: the VCA may not want to throw stones from their very glass house. And Governor Youngkin, next time you’re tempted to play the morality card, make sure you’re not holding a joker. In the meantime, John Reid is on fire and drawing love from many corners as he is the only candidate preaching unity. Virginia voters get to watch this spectacle unfold with popcorn in hand. One thing’s certain: if political karma is real, a few folks in this story have a heck of a bill coming due. Cue the laugh track.