X is full of horrible cold DMs.
So we improved this one with Jérémy.
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What it is about
Sending Linkedin Cold DMs is one of the most powerful social selling hack.
Yet, most cold DMs that are sent every day are terrible.
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How it works
We will review and rewrite a Cold DM Jérémy has received
PS: Jérémy is one of the best sales creators on LinkedIn, follow him!
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[ THE COLD DM
(yes, it's obviously too long)
Hi Jeremy,
Thank you for connecting! At ScalaCode, we specialize in providing top-tier software development teams from India, tailored for Independent Software Vendors (ISVs). Our goal is to deliver reliable, scalable, and cost-efficient development resources.
Here's why partnering with ScalaCode is a smart choice:
• Cost-Effective Expertise: Get access to skilled developers at significantly lower costs compared to US or European teams.
• Scalability & Flexibility: Easily adjust your team size to meet your project demands, whether scaling up or down.
• Broad Expertise: From Al and machine learning to cloud, mobile apps, and custom software, our diverse talent pool has you covered.
• Trusted by Leading Brands: We've successfully partnered with brands like Nike, McDonald's, and IEEE, delivering on-time, scalable solutions.
• Efficient Collaboration: Our team integrates seamlessly with yours, ensuring smooth communication across time zones.
I've attached our pitch deck. Let's schedule a call to discuss how ScalaCode can support your goals.
Looking forward to your response!
Thanks & Regards
Robin Chaudhary ]
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Jérémy's review
• Unsolicited pitch-slap: he starts right away with his pitch. It's not because someone accepts your connection request that they want to be pitched. Nobody likes to be pitched anyway.
• Self-centred: "At COMPANY we..." is the WORSE line in cold messaging. Period. It's not about you, it's about your prospect. Make it relevant to them, only.
• Generic: except for my name, nothing is about me or a problem I could have eventually in my business.
• Poor targeting: definitely the biggest problem.
They're selling software development services. That's great, but a really quick research on TC9 would show that I absolutely don't need that kind of services.
• Attachment: who would read slides from a total stranger?
• Bad CTA: asking for a call right away is the best way to fail. In cold DMs, you need to prove that you're trustworthy first.
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Noam's review
• Self-centered and generic: Starting with "At ScalaCode, we..." show this message is all about you. There's no effort to address the recipient's specific needs or challenges, it's a template anyone could get.
• Too pushy: Jumping straight into a pitch without building any trust or connection makes it feel transactional. Nobody likes being sold to immediately.
• Premature CTA: Asking for a call right away assumes interest that hasn't been earned. Without providing value or context, it's an easy "no."
This message misses the mark entirely.
If you want a response, focus on the prospect, make it personal, and aim to start a conversation, not close a deal.
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Jérémy's rewrite
"Hi Jérémy, love your last post about Clay systems. I've learned a lot thanks to you!
I've been curious so I checked on your profile, and loved what you're doing with the Allbound approach at TC9!
While reading your website, I realized that you used a template to build it.
It looks good, but you could make it even better with a tailored approach.
We recently reshaped "SIMILAR AGENCY OWNER"s website and they 2x their conversion rate.
I'd love to do the same for you!
Worth a chat?
Best, "
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Why it's better:
• Compliment: starting with a compliment on
something specific is a good way to show that did your research AND that you're a nice person. Win-win.
• Personalized: using the right vocabulary with "Allbound" makes you closer to your target. And show your interest in them, again.
• Relevant: they're not trying to sell me a random developer this time. But a web developper who could actually make my life better.
• Social proof: dropping a relevant name and concrete results makes you look serious, and shows that you know what you're talking about.
• Soft CTA: the goal is to trigger curiosity, not being pushy. Besides, you want to make it easy for your prospect to simply reply "yes".
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Noam's rewrite
Hi Jérémy,
Loved your post on Clay systems, really helpful!
I saw your website uses a template.
It's good, but a custom approach could boost results.
We helped [SIMILAR AGENCY OWNER] double their conversions.
Want to chat?
Best,
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Why it's better:
• Personal and relevant: Mentioning their website shows the message is tailored to them.
• Clear compliment: Starting with a specific compliment makes it friendly and shows you did your research.
• Soft CTA: It invites a simple response without any pressure.
• Credible: A quick success story adds trust without overwhelming them.
It's short, to the point, and feels more like a natural conversation.
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GOLDEN RULES
Here are 5 golden rules for Linkedin Cold DMs
Make sure to apply them:
👉🏻 Trigger based
👉🏻 Straight to the point
👉🏻 Make it personalized
👉🏻 Soft call-to-action (CTA)
👉🏻 Never ask directly for a meeting
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