Doctor Mike on grief:
"Put on your shoes. You'll go somewhere. Doesn't matter where."
Doctor Mike lost his mother to cancer. She had an aggressive form of CLL, a disease that normally moves slowly, but hers didn't.
After gruelling treatment that changed her physically and left her weak, her oncologist at Memorial Sloan Kettering shook Mike's hand and told him she was cured.
"That's the greatest news anyone can hear. Your hopes, ten out of ten."
Days later, she developed gram-negative sepsis. Her blood pressure collapsed. The pressors didn't hold.
She was gone.
One of the hardest parts wasn't even his own grief, it was watching his father fall apart. Two Russian immigrants who had given up everything. His father retrained as a doctor in a foreign country. His mother, despite holding a PhD in Russia, went back to university just to learn enough English to teach high school math.
"It was painful to watch my dad go through it. For the first few months, my focus was more on him than on myself."
For those in the middle of that storm right now: grief, depression, whatever has brought you to your knees, Doctor Mike has one piece of advice:
Action comes before motivation.
Not the other way around. You don't wait to feel ready. You don't wait for the fog to lift.
You put on your shoes.
"You'll go somewhere. Doesn't matter where. Gym, not gym, walk, dog park."
After his mother passed, the thing that helped him most wasn't traditional therapy, though he's done that too. It was going to the dog park with his dog.
"Animal therapy is real."
He even notes you don't need a dog to go. Just go.
When you're inside the storm, you can't see a way out. That's not weakness, that's just what storms do.
But motion creates momentum. One small, physical act: shoes on, door open, they interrupt the paralysis.
What's the smallest action you could take today?