A teacher from Kianguru Primary School has gone viral after the Milimani Small Claims Court ordered her to pay her boyfriend Ksh 23,750 for committing the highest crime in modern dating,, Eating fare eat Tau Tau. She pulled the kind of disappearing act that even CDF money would clap for her.
It all started when the man blinded by love, loneliness & July cold sent Mwalimu Ksh 3,000 for a taxi so she could attend his birthday party & later gift him the sacred fruits of fulumbanya that makes a man speak in tongues & see the gates of heaven opening slowly.
Mwalimu after receiving the money, she disappeared like Kasongo's promises. She went offline so violently that even the pokot bandits looked like jokers.
Omwami after waiting the whole night smelling muyusuff cologne & reheating pilau after every 30 minutes, realized he had been played by a professional ashawo! He marched to the Small Claims Court carrying evidence kwa kalataas like an ICC prosecutor:
M-Pesa statements, WhatsApp chats, Screenshots, Blue ticks & Voice notes where Madam was saying “ndio nimetoka babe” yet she was still in her house eating makhalange & watching kumkumbagya.
The court read through the chats & concluded that Madam had committed emotional terrorism. They ordered her to refund the Ksh 3,000, pay Ksh 750 interest for wasting the man’s battery & bundles, and an additional Ksh 20,000 for the emotional damage of expecting bedroom fireworks and receiving blackout.
To cap it all, Madam is currently detained at the government owned Airbnb, eating undercooked maize with two beans on the side to boost her immune system with limited proteins as her family scrambled to raise the money.
This should serve as a lesson to all the daughters of Agrippina who have normalized the habit of eating our money without giving us access to the kilgoris holy garden where walimwengu harvest ripped & over ripped sacred fruits of fulumbanya. Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu. 👀