Just pretend I’m not here
Joined August 2022
- Tweets 34,335
- Following 551
- Followers 283
- Likes 75,264
3,350 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
23 Oct 2024
“You’re a reply guy” ok and?? Sorry for using the features provided to me, idiot
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Kyle retweeted
9h
how it feels to order a large popcorn and icee before my friends spring up on me that they’re not getting any snacks for the movie
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I never fill up my work truck at the indigenous-owned gas stations because I don’t wanna give my employer a tax break. Checkmate riberals
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Kyle retweeted
15h
Thinking about that time a man messaged me asking to hookup but keep it discreet so his wife didn’t find out and I said “you better pray she ain’t on Facebook because I’m finding her rn and sending this screenshot” and he said “ooooh off to save the world are ya?” LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO
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Kyle retweeted
Jun 16
“Ay no, tarjeta gris otra vez”.
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Kyle retweeted
Jun 17
i called the gay certification program and they told me you passed
Jun 16
NEW: California pressuring public utility companies to issue $633 million in contracts to LGBT-owned businesses — must pass “gay-certification program” to qualify.
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Kyle retweeted
Hmmm...no community notes....that shit is real
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15h
I like how he’s still wearing 12” inseams. Real baller
20h
Adam Sandler was spotted playing pickup in NYC 👀🔥
Pure point guard.
(📸: steven.carrasco/IG)
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Kyle retweeted
Jun 17
POV: you're the President of Egypt
JUST IN: Trump says he met Egyptian President in a hotel and they "fell deeply in love"
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17h
Ice cream yakuza would be a great band name
Six ice cream companies in Japan were raided by authorities over allegations of forming an "ice cream cartel"
The investigation comes after years of rising dessert prices across the country
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Kyle retweeted
Jun 17
NEW: Government confirms Duolingo will be included in the under-16s social media ban.
“No child in Britain needs to know what the French are saying” a department spokesperson said.
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Kyle retweeted
Jun 16
if alcohol can shorten your memory imagine what alcohol can do
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19h
I will say it is a bit funny that the older he gets the gayer he becomes. Happy Pride Month!
Jun 17
Trump on Egyptian President el-Sisi: "He was in a hotel and I met him. We fell in love, deeply in love ... we didn't know each other before that."
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James dolan sucks and is a weirdo
Jun 16
Karl-Anthony Towns says his fiancée Jordyn Woods “didn’t like” Knicks owner James Dolan’s 10-week no-sex request for the playoffs 💀
“I’m a happily engaged man, I will definitely say, when I came home, and I told my fiancé what he said, she didn’t like to hear that one.”
(h/t @awfulannouncing)
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Give me the mobile versions splinter cell: pandora tomorrow and prince of persia: the sands of time or fuck off
A flip phone that blocks social media and web browsers will soon be available for $499
The Commodore Callback will still have apps such as WhatsApp, Telegram, Google Maps, and Uber
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Great, no drones? There goes my drone strike idea
Jun 17
Heading to the Knicks Parade?
Security screening starts at 6am and EVERYONE gets checked
❌ NO bags
❌ NO backpacks
❌ NO chairs
❌ NO coolers
❌ NO drones
❌ NO bikes or scooters
❌ NO strollers
❌ NO umbrellas
❌ NO pets
❌ NO weapons
Plastic water bottles? ✅
Glass or metal bottles? ❌
Live or work along the parade route? Bring proper ID for access
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Kyle retweeted
Jun 16
Drake fan who makes fun of Gord Downie’s lyricism is a pretty good bit I’m not gonna lie
Jun 15
Written by a toddler unfortunately
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Kyle retweeted
looks like pink lemonade was invented by a clown and the original batch was balls and asshole flavored. good news tho, clown's dead
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