Joined February 2009
- Tweets 50,877
- Following 1,263
- Followers 1,061
- Likes 220,859
2,787 Photos and videos
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21 Dec 2025
๐ฅฐ๐ฅฐ๐ฅฐ๐ฅฐ๐ฅฐ thank you!
21 Dec 2025
In celebration of one of the High Holy Days on this app, hereโs a rare photo of a promising newcomer to the McGuirk territoryโjust prior to the McGuirk-Watts promotional splitโsaluting a young fan in the Carolinas.
Happy birthday, @nikkiaredhead!
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The Scarlet Pumpernickel retweeted
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The Scarlet Pumpernickel retweeted
USA. A breakfast counter. The waitress recommended the biscuits and gravy, and when the plate arrived, I thought something had gone wrong in the kitchen.
I say this with shame. The dish looked like a construction site after rain. Pale mounds. Gray ladle-fall. Speckles I could not identify.
In my land, the eye eats first. A meal is arranged like a garden. This meal was arranged like weather.
"Is itโฆ finished?" I asked, carefully.
"Honey, that's what it looks like."
The man beside me was already eating his. He did not look up. "Just try it."
I am a man who has charged hillsides at dawn. I raised the fork. I tried it.
I must now formally apologize to the biscuits, the gravy, the waitress, the kitchen, and the entire breakfast tradition of the American South.
It was magnificent. Warm. Peppered. The biscuit drank the gravy the way a field drinks rain โ THAT is why it is shaped like that, you fool โ and every mound I had insulted was a soft fold of comfort that my homeland, in eight hundred years, never once thought to invent.
"Well?" the waitress asked.
"I judged it," I confessed. "By its appearance. I am ashamed."
"Everybody does, hon."
Everybody does. A national dish that forgives you for doubting it. It expects the doubt. It waits for you on the other side of it.
Do not judge the gravy by its face. Judge yourself, for hesitating.
I order it every Saturday now. I no longer see the construction site. I see only the garden.
It was a garden the whole time. The eye must be trained.
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Did they take it???
Jun 12
On this Delta flight and theyโre offering $3000 for someone to take a 3:50pm flight out of D.C.
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๐๐ป๐๐ป๐๐ปโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ
Jun 13
WEโRE GOING TO AN ELLA LANGLEY CONCERT ON THE 18TH AND WEโRE EVEN GOING TO MEET HER!!!!
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Amy:
Jun 13
I'm considering quitting all other jobs, responsibilities, and requirements to just sell stuff on Whatnot and eBay. This isn't likely, but I'm still gonna consider it for a while.
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The Scarlet Pumpernickel retweeted
Jun 13
TRICK WILLIAMS SPOTS A KID IN THE AUDIENCE DRESSED LIKE HIM
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
#Smackdown
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The Scarlet Pumpernickel retweeted
This is a friend of mine, if anyone knows or has heard or seen anything, PLEASE call.
Moore was last seen Thursday at 5608 Sunset Blvd. Police ask anyone with information to call Detective Santoro at 803-358-7271. wltx.com/article/news/local/โฆ wltx.com/article/news/local/โฆ
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My husband would find a piece of machinery to put this on...
Pratt & Whitney JT9 turbofan jet engine ($20,000)
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The Scarlet Pumpernickel retweeted
Itโs funny the way some of these people visiting the U.S. from other countries are reacting to our bottom tier food chains. If Chipotle and Cheesecake Factory got you acting like that, Iโd hate to see you at someoneโs grandma house in South Carolina on a Sunday.
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Gentlemen!!! You look fabulous!! ๐
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Elite evergreen tweet because I ask this at least six times a day.
Jun 11
chile what is going on
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โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ
Deep fry your scallops
We're gonna deep fry your scallops
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Gotta love it when a banger comes on in the Culverโs drive thru.
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Are you about to consume a Swiffer duster?
Jun 9
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I had a white wicker bedroom suit when I was little and that met my wicker quota for good.
Whatโs stopping you from buying this Class A 180,000 square foot office building in Newark OH for only $8,500,000?
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What is up, Debbie my queen????
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Oh my damn that looks bad.
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