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Joined February 2009
- Tweets 508,272
- Following 20,643
- Followers 49,119
- Likes 577,623
1,546 Photos and videos
Tony retweeted
2 Apr 2023
Out of all the types of people who MUST be stopped, the stranger who sits beside you when there’s tons of open chairs is the most baffling.
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Tony retweeted
28 Mar 2023
Children in the Eighties lived in fear that Nancy Reagan would get them if they misbehaved.
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Tony retweeted
28 Mar 2023
No, I can’t give you a ride to the airport, but I can help you download the Lyft app because we’re adults now.
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Tony retweeted
3 Apr 2023
Everyone keeps asking me if I’m okay, and I think it’s because I keep showing up to places looking like I was hit by a truck.
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Tony retweeted
31 Mar 2023
YOU PEOPLE HAVE STOOD IN MY WAY LONG ENOUGH I'M JOINING THE BULL RIDING CIRCUIT
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Tony retweeted
1 Apr 2023
I just woke up and opened Twitter and now im already mad
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Tony retweeted
26 Mar 2023
My frequently used gif section makes me happy
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Tony retweeted
29 Mar 2023
I'll to, too, your, you're, there, their, and they're you under the table
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Tony retweeted
26 Mar 2023
Sometimes I think I just need a sparkly baton
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Tony retweeted
28 Jun 2014
I love people that get offended on Twitter. They sort of make it all worth it.
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Tony retweeted
14 Jan 2023
Last night I had a dream that I was drinking a beer, and now I'm drinking a beer.
Fuckin weird, man.
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Tony retweeted
1 Apr 2023
I will be closely monitoring your ass to ensure you don't fart in my Jeep.
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Tony retweeted
4 Sep 2020
After world war II, Tony and I came back and just started banging bitches.
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Tony retweeted
25 Mar 2023
I’m bad at boundaries. I love who I love. Sometimes it’s just from a little further over there.
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Tony retweeted
24 Mar 2023
I come from a long line of people who care. I raise my glass ..
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Tony retweeted
30 Mar 2023
Can't, taking notes on how sane people act and feel.
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Tony retweeted
30 Mar 2023
Some days are better than others. This isn't one of them.
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