Joined September 2011
- Tweets 6,462
- Following 6,250
- Followers 19,981
- Likes 511,127
1 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
1 Sep 2017
If I tell you about my murder plan, you're already part of it.
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29 Oct 2023
They say men aren't complicated but I'll be fucked if I can figure out how to put this one back together.
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1Happytwit retweeted
28 May 2015
You can trust me.
I'm from the Internet.
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1Happytwit retweeted
5 Mar 2023
You're just one marble away from having one.
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1Happytwit retweeted
15 Jul 2016
Don't think of yourself as single, think of yourself as unsupervised and go hard.
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1Happytwit retweeted
7 Nov 2016
Once in your life, you'll come across a special person that makes you think the prison food will be worth it.
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1Happytwit retweeted
31 Jul 2015
Behind every broken heart is some crap story no one wants to hear.
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1Happytwit retweeted
22 Jan 2019
I don't know how it all works out in the end. I'm not ready for the end.
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1Happytwit retweeted
22 Jan 2019
You're a gift. Unfortunately you didn't come with an exchange receipt.
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1Happytwit retweeted
2 Dec 2016
Let's sit in a gutter and philosophise about life.
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1Happytwit retweeted
21 Jan 2019
Some days you’re desperate to be inspired and somehow your instincts keep you alert for that.
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1Happytwit retweeted
6 Dec 2017
I miss fun Twitter - it was always fuelled by anger and sadness but it produced laughter. Now with Trump and Brexit and Islamophobia it seems just vitriolic and decisive. I think we need a group hug.
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1Happytwit retweeted
23 Dec 2017
"...one for him, and eight for me." - Me, leaving Santa a Christmas whisky.
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1Happytwit retweeted
24 Apr 2017
There's someone for everybody .... just your someone is a psychiatrist.
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