I'm fine.
Joined July 2012
- Tweets 66,814
- Following 1,383
- Followers 1,781
- Likes 210,930
9 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
29 May 2013
It's rude to upstage the bride on her wedding day but that's exactly what's going to happen when I burst into flames as I enter the church.
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Fickle Filly retweeted
12 Jan 2023
You think gas stoves are a danger? Ask the fire department about the risks of letting a white woman loose in the house with a bottle of wine and too many scented candles.
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Fickle Filly retweeted
12 Jan 2023
I’m the classic damsel in distress; all the color drained from my lithe face and body except the hot roses of fear from my cheeks. But wait! Here comes my hero wearing a cape made of all the red flags in the world.
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Fickle Filly retweeted
12 Jan 2023
I'm making a voodoo doll of myself but I'm giving it really nice clothes, cool hair and a bitchin car
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Fickle Filly retweeted
12 Jan 2023
Today's Tarot Card: You brighten everyone's morning with your incandescent rage.
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Fickle Filly retweeted
12 Jan 2023
Going to do lent really quickly. Fast fast.
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12 Jan 2023
The library over the road doesn’t have a dress-code but I suspect they will by tomorrow
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12 Jan 2023
I’m always surprised when my tweets don’t do well and have been in a state of constant dismay for over a decade
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Fickle Filly retweeted
4 Jan 2023
It's harder to make lemonade out of rat chunks and poison arrows.
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Fickle Filly retweeted
4 Jan 2023
Champollion was the first person to translate the Rosetta Stone and unlock the secrets of Egyptian hieroglyphs. What are you even doing with your life, you piece of shit.
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Fickle Filly retweeted
4 Jan 2023
Lol, good luck little guy. Consciousness is the first stage of torture.
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Fickle Filly retweeted
1 Sep 2021
I'll get rabies one day from giving a drooling squirrel little kisses.
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5 Dec 2022
Algorithms are like horny people. ‘Oh you like that, then let me show you this and this and this’.
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Fickle Filly retweeted
17 Nov 2022
I think people call me passionate as an insult.
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1 Jan 2023
I don’t have FOMO, I have FOBI - Fear Of Being Included.
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Fickle Filly retweeted
4 Jan 2023
I just misspelled 'competence' in an auditors report. Wish me luck!
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Fickle Filly retweeted
4 Jan 2023
Usually I only have to get rejected three or four times to take the hint.
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