My pronouns are Me/Me. Creator of @TanksGoodNews and @influencersitw I am a comedy fanatic and I like to read
Joined May 2010
- Tweets 21,976
- Following 342
- Followers 26,874
- Likes 10,724
6,974 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
16 Jan 2022
People used to change their opinion based on information.
Now they change the information based on their opinion.
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Jun 7
Texted this to myself in a dead sleep last night and I have no idea what it means
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Tank.Sinatra retweeted
May 27
I'm convinced that the single greatest challenge for any ambitious person is eliminating the guilt associated with free time and rest.
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May 28
My anxiety watching me drink my 3rd white Monster of the day
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May 26
The onus used to be on the poster to provide the value, but now the poster is forcing the reader to provide value and I think thatโs why this website and others are so unbearable now
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May 18
Friend: marriage oof, same woman everyday for the rest of your life.
Me: Youโve clearly never been married cuz sheโs a different person every single day
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Tank.Sinatra retweeted
May 14
JUST IN: ๐บ๐ธ US Senate unanimously passes resolution to suspend senators' pay during government shutdowns.
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May 13
Smallcox
May 12
Scientists confirm that hantavirus can shrink your penis size by up to three inches.
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May 12
boomers sending DMs to AI-generated women on instagram
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May 6
This is almost breaking my brain.
May 6
Bob Fosse in Little Prince movie, 1974 had a massive influence on Michael Jackson.
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Tank.Sinatra retweeted
According to psychology, we rarely lose our temper with the people who deserve it. We snap at the ones who love us enough to forgive us.
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May 1
I didnโt see a single โitโs gonna be Mayโ meme this year which is personally a massive relief, but culturally a signifier of something much darker.
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Apr 29
Iโll admit, when I was a kid in the 90s I definitely thought that Kid Rock would have less direct involvement with military operations
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Apr 27
Logged onto threads to see the funniest possible roast
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Apr 26
Papaya is a fruit in the same way tomato is a fruit, which is to say it is not at all a fruit
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Apr 26
The divorce rate would plummet if couples stop farting and shitting in front of each other
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Tank.Sinatra retweeted
People out here acting like 80s and 90s kids regularly watched movies from the 50s and 60s.
Apr 24
Film literacy among young people is at an all time low. My gen z students are shockingly unfamiliar with many key landmarks of modern cinema that were released in the 1990s
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