On this Thanksgiving, November 27, 2025, I want to express my profound gratitude to
@JoeBiden for the Violence Against Women Act (1994) and his continued work to help women escape domestic violence.
I am a victim of domestic violence. When one becomes a victim of the person who is supposed to care for them, one is launched into what seems like a cruel, fractured world, devoid of hope. What follows is the story of how I found my way back to hope—through the work Joe Biden and other advocates built for women like me.
Earlier this year, I was lying on the floor of a jail cell, shivering. I had called the police for help escaping domestic violence. I had been arrested instead.
Jail is cold; too cold. My tailbone was bruised from being thrown to the ground, and the pain made it hard to move. I was curled in a fetal position, my head, my legs, my arms, all of my body, curled inside of a jail t-shirt that had been provided to me. Around me sat other women; some of whom were also abuse victims. We were together for 20 hours. I could see their bruises forming, eyes swelling, as the hours dragged by.
I am not alone in having experienced the trauma of being a criminalized survivor, as the 2022 update to the VAWA notes. So many authorities—including the police—who are meant to help us not only fail to do so, but often contribute to the harm.
To be arrested in such a situation represents not just immediate harm, but binds victims more profoundly to those who harmed them in the first place. Perhaps the greater trauma, however, is the complete loss of truth. And with this loss of truth, even those of us who are committed "fighters" begin to lose sight of any possible notion we ourselves are worth fighting for.
For a very long time, as I was on the floor of that jail cell, all I could think about was what my intimate partner had said to me while he had me pinned to the floor in our own home, five minutes before I called the police. "You're pathetic." "You're a loser." "Do you think you can fight me? Try it. You little scumbag." And, "If I wanted to punch you, you would be dead." All I could feel was profound terror and loss and darkness.
Since its passage, the Violence Against Women Act has transformed the landscape for survivors: intimate partner violence against women declined 67% and intimate partner homicides decreased 26%. The Act funded over 1,500 domestic violence shelters, established the National Domestic Violence Hotline, and created legal assistance programs for survivors seeking protection orders.
Critically, with regards to my own case, in 2022, Biden's DOJ issued updated guidance specifically addressing police misidentification of victims, instructing officers not to judge credibility by demeanor and warning that "when a victim of ongoing abuse is arrested for retaliating in self-defense... it leaves the victim vulnerable to further harm and less likely to call for police assistance in the future."
I didn't even retaliate in self-defense. But I was judged as more erratic than my abuser; and therefore arrested. The simple act of knowing this guidance--created by the Biden administration--exists helps me in my own recovery. For me, a criminalized survivor, the DOJ guidance is one small step in a restoration of overall truth.
Now I would like to express an even more visceral, fundamental gratitude to Joe Biden, the VAWA, and all those who fight for survivors: When I was in jail, one abused woman tried to help me figure out a way out of my own situation. In that moment, I had no hope. No hope of escape. No hope of a better life. I tried to reach into my own future and all I saw was darkness.
I told her I had no income, knew no one, had nowhere to go. She said, "You could go to one of those shelters. They can set you up with food stamps, medical care, housing." And then I thought, "That's what the VAWA was created for." I thought of Joe Biden and all the work he had done to help women like me. I thought: "If he created it; I should use it."
And then another memory came to me: February 2020. Joe Biden was at a CNN town hall in Charleston. Reverend Anthony Thompson—whose wife, Myra, had been killed in the 2015 Emanuel AME Church massacre—asked Biden about faith. Biden spoke about his grief over his son Beau: "I had just lost my son and I wanted some hope." And then: "My son, Beau, was my soul." He said he had to find purpose. And he quoted Kierkegaard: "Faith sees best in the dark."
I looked up at the other victims in that jail cell. Maybe helping women like them—women like me—could be my purpose. Just as it had been part of Joe Biden's purpose.
I have rarely been engulfed in such darkness as I was on the floor of that jail. Abused by a man I loved. No escape. A future that was unseeable. But those two lines—"You have to have purpose" and "Faith sees best in the dark"—helped me reach forward into the unimaginable future, to grasp for something better.
So I want to thank
@JoeBiden and every other person who has decided to believe victims, to see the truth of what we go through, and to provide us with shelter and hope. Thank you for seeing us. Just being seen is one of the greatest gifts a human being can receive. To simply be seen: This is faith in the darkness.
Thank you, Joe Biden, and Happy Thanksgiving to all.