Joined October 2012
8,126 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
I'd rather be real and make you hate me then be fake just so you'll love me.
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Don't walk into my fire unless you want to get burned.
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You can say anything on here and they'll twist it sexual or relationship wise
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The restaurant gave me spicy chicken and now I can't feel my mouth.
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Let me slip into something more comfortable [crawls out of my own skin]
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The Metaphorical in me recognizes the Hypothetical in you.
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I did nothing today and it was glorious
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Jun 14
If you teabag somebody with a nut allergy, is it considered attempted murder?
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Men have sundress season and we have hoochie daddy shorts season.
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Seriously, fuck all this
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Women are evil. Which is why I ask them for advice.
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It’s not complicated Make her laugh
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Mentally, I just can't afford to care about certain things the way I used to.
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staying in my lane while at the same time hoping it goes right of a cliff
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we need to bring back inviting people over for cake and coffee.
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Once again you’ve managed to come off as a vindictive psychopath, but on the bright side, it’s weekend Twitter so nobody’s gonna see it.
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Apparently men with a little grey in their beards make sure both sets of lips are kissed regularly???
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when you’re on the edge watch who tries to push you off
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Imagine hating me… and I’m just over here defiling your selfies.
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What can I say, I'm cravable like that.
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Current fitness level: I have an app that tells me the location of the nearest ice cream truck.
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