Yo, Crypt Dwellers and Pizza Commandos!! 🍕💀🕹️ It’s your favorite pizza-makin’ NES thrashin’ vampire dad, Cap’n Retrovania, reporting live from the neon-lit arcade of the Haunted Pizzeria Clubhouse!
Cap’n Retrovania’s Totally Toxic Pizza-Slingin’ Showdown — our full 1987-set NES horror-splatter beat-‘em-up — is LIVE on Kickstarter and absolutely crushing it! We need YOUR support to bring this toxic 8-bit nightmare to real NES cartridges and Nintendo Switch. Head over right now and help us smash that $25,000 goal!
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kickstarter.com/projects/ret…
To get you properly hyped, here’s our main boss, the nastiest dude of 'em all in the entire game: LORD SLUDGE — the oozing corporate surfin’ overlord and the sinister mastermind behind the 1987 Halloween nightmare!
“Everything… becomes… SLUDGE!”
From his towering Toxic Fright Fortress — a rotting, neon-drenched pizzeria-castle-factory filled with vats of bubbling radioactive slime — this gnarly corporate surfin’ overlord unleashes his toxic empire on Halloween night ’87. Armed with a sludge-blasting ooze cannon, he commands hordes of mutant pizza freaks with pure greed-fueled fury. His goal? Turn Pitchfork Cove into a toxic mutant wonderland and plant surf shacks all along the beach.
But the real nightmare is his Sludge-O-Matic 3000 mech suit: a 50-foot armored crustacean exoskeleton dripping glowing goo, equipped with twin Meatsaw Cleaver buzz-hands that shred heroes at close range and a chest-mounted Sauce Cannon that hurls corrosive expired toppings like molten marinara death!
Gameplay Attacks:
- Corrosive Sludge Bombs – He lobs exploding blobs of radioactive ooze that melt your health bar and leave toxic puddles on the ground.
- Toxic Tsunami – Rears back and unleashes a screen-filling wave of glowing green filth that pushes you back, damages on contact, and spawns sludge-minions.
- Sludge Grasp – Sticky tentacles shoot out, grab you, and drag you into his bubbling core for massive damage and a screen-shaking dissolve animation.
- Meatsaw Frenzy – In mech form he revs up the twin buzz-hands and charges across the arena, shredding everything in his path.
- Sauce Inferno – Fires the chest cannon in a sweeping arc of molten toppings that rain down and create lingering burn zones.
Once a corrupt chemical plant owner who tried to profit off the midnight mutant outbreak, he fell into his own forbidden vat of experimental “Pizza Enhancer” sludge. Now he’s a towering, radioactive surfin' monstrosity.
Massive props to
@Karmaquarius for crushing the character design on this absolute beast!
If you’re ready to sling toxic pizza, dodge sludge waves, and take down Lord Sludge on real NES hardware, back the Kickstarter today! Who’s hyped to face this oozing overlord? Drop a 🔥🍕 or “LET’S SLASH!” below if you’re in!
The 8-bit horror-splatter revolution is coming… and it’s gonna be deliciously deadly.
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