@copymama profile picture
SpacedMom @copymama

Writer of freelance copy. Cultivator of small humans. Documenter of absurdity. / Header by the talented @mommy_cusses

Joined May 2009
  • Tweets 43,869
  • Following 2,927
  • Followers 23,016
1,748 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
SpacedMom@copymama
18 Jul 2018
Driving tests should have a portion where a kid in the backseat just pummels you with rapid-fire questions while you try to merge.
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SpacedMom@copymama
18 Nov 2024
[Arriving in Hell] *Satan hands me a phone where every app has notifications but no matter how many times I try to clear them the red dots just won’t go away*
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McDad@mcdadstuff
17 Nov 2024
Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P
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Uncle Bob 🍩@UncleBob56
16 Nov 2024
A scammer called me and said he had all my passwords... "You're a lifesaver! Hang on while I grab a pen and paper."
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SpacedMom retweeted
Nadine Antoinette 🖤📚@Lilblack_heart
18 Nov 2024
me: i make a mean grilled cheese my grilled cheese: go fuck yourself
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SpacedMom retweeted
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF@sofarrsogud
18 Nov 2024
One-upping the other new members at juggling club by starting with katanas
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SpacedMom retweeted
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF@sofarrsogud
17 Nov 2024
Anyone under 6ft 4 who wants to use an umbrella in a crowd should have to do a course.
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SpacedMom retweeted
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF@sofarrsogud
16 Nov 2024
In France, automobile thieves are called carjacquers.
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SpacedMom retweeted
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF@sofarrsogud
16 Nov 2024
Back in the day Mike Tyson was known as Iron Mike and he was a Fe-nom send tweet
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SpacedMom retweeted
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF@sofarrsogud
15 Nov 2024
[Getting tazed on the bus] I’m the conductor now lmfaoooo
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SpacedMom retweeted
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF@sofarrsogud
14 Nov 2024
[sees a guy selling drugs outside the supermarket] *whispers to self* Pablo Tescobar
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SpacedMom retweeted
meghan
@deloisivete
10 Nov 2024
Feeling betrayed because my kid found my stash of Reese's peanut butter cups that I originally took from his stash
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Annie Hatfield
@AnneHatfieldVO
14 Nov 2024
What must a pancake think when it's being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.
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SpacedMom@copymama
14 Nov 2024
When people talk about someone who died, they’re always like “They had the biggest heart, they would have done anything for you,” but I feel like when I die they’ll be like “She would sometimes text you some halfhearted advice.”
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SpacedMom retweeted
Sweet Momissa@sweetmomissa
13 Nov 2024
Nancy Drew and the case of the mysterious acronym my teen sent me that I can’t figure out.
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Kellalena@topaz_kell
7 Nov 2024
Kidnapper: your coming with me Me: * you’re
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SpacedMom retweeted
Dadman Standing
@dadmann_walking
14 Nov 2024
Mexican restaurants are like: we have 1 meal arranged 54 different ways, which one would you like?
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SpacedMom retweeted
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF@sofarrsogud
13 Nov 2024
*Hulk Hogan ripping off his shirt and shouting 'HELL YEAH BROTHER' as he is sworn in as the new Secretary Of Kicking Ass (formerly defence)
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