I don't believe any victim should be made to do therapy or mediation with an abuser.
Through trauma therapy I've realised how deep seated it is within me to blame myself and how he used to blame me.
This then happened with children's services and
#FamilyCourt
So now it's like entrenched in me.
It shouldn't be my blame.
I didn't choose to be a victim of
#DomesticAbuse I chose to walk.
I didn't choose to be abused post separation.
I didn't choose for my ex to continue using drugs.
I didn't want a fight. I wanted 50/50 as long as safeguarding measures were In place my ex wouldn't give an inch.
He got what he wanted. Me under his control.
I'm sick of blaming myself for bringing my eldest into the world.
Sick of blaming myself for my exes abuse.
Sick of blaming myself for leaving.
Sick of blaming myself for reporting abuse
Sick of blaming myself for taking it to family court thinking it would save me and my son from this
#abuse.
Sick of blaming myself or others blaming me for my ex not communicating with me
Sick of being blamed for me having an issue for having my young son around drug addicts.
Sick of blaming myself if I'd come across better in court.
Sick of blaming myself for my ex dragging us through 3 years of court.
Sick of blaming myself for this order.
If I went into therapy with this man I'd have it even more entrenched in me when I'm trying to get out of it.
Nothing is ever his fault.
Even when I look back to those messages and those transcripts I see the way he talked to me was abusive to me and was gaslighting me and making me take the fall for his abuse.
He tried to buy my son at one point when I met my partner.
Another time he wanted 50/50 because I was on a dating site and didn't want to pay me money as he thought I'd use it on a date
He used my son to say if he paid me back what he stole that I would be robbing off our son.
This is the type of Sick person he really is.
His ever changing accounts leaves me utterly confused
Being in a relationship with him for 10.5 years I thought I was losing my mind.
Everytime he stole off me it must have been my memory I must have spent it. I had to retrace my steps.
Thats why I'm so careful with money now
He'd call me insane make out that I'd made things up.
I remember 2 clear incidents last year in proceedings
I thought I was losing my mind.
Thats why I went to
@womensaid and had to be put back on
#freedomprogramme again.
I didn't realise because I thought if he was doing it my supposed
#DomesticAbuse #solicitor would have picked up on it or
#FamilyCourt #cafcass or
#Judiciary but they didn't. They ignored it why? Because it was easier.
While I was left blaming me and thinking I had lost my mind. I was even going to admit myself to hospital over it.
Again this year I was going to admit myself to hospital over what he was doing as I thought I was going mad and blaming my mental health. When I spoke to womens aid I realised it was him. Not me. Him.
No therapy or mediation could ever be done with someone like that
#LegalSupport #LegalNews
@familylaw @FamilyLawHour @familylawweek @Grant_FamilyLaw @IAmZoeFleetwood @82ladyK
@theDAsolicitor @CommissionerDA @AlexChalkChelt @MoJGovUK @AnnieAGibbs @AnnaMcMorrin @Ruth_ITV @AlanBra15552677 @DuncanLewis @WomenSolicitors
@lawsocgazette @wendyhopkins @CFLP_FamilyLaw @ndin_law @StoweFamilyLaw @LALYawards @LegalVerity
@legal_eyed @SheraFamily @huyh_uk #legal500 @WeAreAdvocate @ResFamilyLaw
@ChildFamJustice @DrEmmaKatz @BarnettAdrienne @drninaansary @ECCUSAKate @DrProudman @drrimahussein @nicolajanesharp
@s_ayebkarlsson @coercivecontrol @OfficialMelB @UNSRVAW @VickiGodfrey8 @MelanieBridgen @CHydeFamilyLaw @Rachel_SUTDA @rachelhorman @PLBeckett7 @CrisMcCurley
Please all
#solicitors #barristers #judges don't do this to victims
How often will an abuser use DAVRO in couples therapy to manipulate and control the victim while appearing to “engage in therapy?”
As
@DrEmmaKatz says it can be dangerous and counter productive