Been around the world. Died twice, brought back thrice. Take your bad juju somewhere else. Cam girl for THE one.

Joined December 2017
396 Photos and videos
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The lost art of being a fucking decent person
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Vacation beers taste wayyyyy better than home beers.
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“You look happier” thanks, I chose iced coffee, books and laughter over bullshit.
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Apr 23
My friend told me she feels like we don’t connect anymore. I’m like what’s the problem? I liked two of your Facebook posts just this week.
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Extrovert friend: "you should talk more" Introvert friend: "you should shut up more"
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Never knowing what the fuck is going on is part of my charm.
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one man’s trash is another man’s trash too I guess
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I’d be a morning person if less of it was in the morning.
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We are all one people under the stars. Except left handed people.
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Me: My back hurts. Google: You have three days to live.
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Earth day is just a made up holiday to sell more planets.
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I have a extremely kind soul. If I'm ever a asshole to you....Ya totally deserved that shit
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I want to be rich enough to have a library in my house so I can display all of my bowling trophies.
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If you’re not a little silly sometimes, fuck you.
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Do you suppose Jeffrey Dahmer ever woke up and said "today is leg day"
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I always answer telemarketer calls bc it gives me time to practice my pirate voice
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I feel bad for people who weren't on Twitter ten years ago. There were some crazy motherfuckers on here back then. It was also a lot funnier and just more fun in general.
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Hello Twitter my old friend, I’ve come to waste my time again.
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Getting eaten in the woods would fix me.
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You’ve never had a shower beer… congratulations on your perfect life.
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for earth day don’t forget to recycle your trash by texting your ex again
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