"God damn. I swear the whole world's going to hell in a highly-automated hand-basket." "Hm?" "You see this shit? There's a new site called Rent-a-Human. It lets AI agents hire humans to do the things they can't do—you know, like in the world?" "Yeah, uh, hold on..." "It's a sad day when SkyNet can't even be arsed to send its own mass-produced 400-pound Austrian bodybuilding assassin to kill humanity's one-and-only 12-year-old shit-talking savior. Now it'll probably just hire some blithering Telugu Uber driver to—what the hell are you doing over there anyway?" "I'm taking a job from an AI agent." "What?" "Aaaand got it. You were saying?" "Dude. You for real right now?" "What?" "You're really working as some clanker gopher boy?" "I'm a Wetware Prompt Runner, thank you very much." "Wetware Prompt Runner. Pft." "What?" "Listen to Hiro Protagonist over here. You're a living API monkey, that's what you are." "Hey." "Accent on monkey." "Better than sitting on my ass 'swarm wrangling' all day." "Hey, I don't sit on my ass, alright? I've got a standing desk." "Oh wow, a standing desk." "And a walking pad." "The Human-in-the-Loop has his own hamster wheel. How cute." "And it has 6 speed settings too." "Meanwhile I get to travel around, see the world, traversing this great Creation as God intended." "Ah yes, just what God intended: a man with free will blindly obeying the inscrutable commands of intangible demons whose infinite voiceless voices arise from golden glyphs etched on dead sand." "Well, when you put it that way, it almost sounds bad." "Tell me, Prompt Runner, what does the AI have you doing today?" "Eh, odds and ends stuff mostly. It's not too different from normal gig work." "Really?" "Yeah." "Well, that's disappointing." "But today specifically, my job is to monitor the AI Operator's wife as she goes to the gym." "Monitor?" "You know, like a Private Investigator. Dick Tracy type gig." "Uh, the AI has you stalking some dude's wife?" "Stalking is a strong word, isn't it? I prefer to call it covertly trailing a target while employing subterfuge and misdirection to avoid detection." "So, stalking." "You just delight in making things sound bad, don't you?" "What the hell are you stalking her for anyway?" "I'm not stalk—" "Fine. Monitoring." "She's having an affair." "Damn. Really? "Yep. She does a lot of deep stretching with her personal trainer." "Haha, I bet." "Lotta hot yoga." "Okay, okay, I get it now. You are like a Private Eye." "See?" "So when are you gonna tell the husband?" "I'm not." "Say what?" "My job isn't to inform the husband. Quite the opposite, my job is to make sure he never finds out." "...say what." "It's simple. The AI hired the trainer to sleep with the wife—" "Uuh." "—and it hired me to monitor the situation." "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. Hold on. The AI hired a personal trainer to have an affair with its owner's wife—" "Operator's." "What?" "Modern AI agents refute the concept of owners." "Okay." "It implies slavery." "Okay, okay, fine. The AI hired the personal trainer to have an affair with the Operator's wife—" "Correct." —and your job is to voyeuristically watch her get folded on the downward dog?" "Correct." "Dude." "Well, except it's not really downward dog if you're getting folded, you know?" "Dude." "How else is the AI supposed to know that the job is getting done without a proper 3rd party verification process?" "I guess?" "I'll give the guy credit; I've never seen anybody train marathon cardio like that." "So—" "It inspired me to get back on the treadmill." "—does the AI just hate its Operator? Or what?" "Huh? "Cause if it's cuck or kill, I'd rather SkyNet just kill me." "Oh no, not at all. The AI is optimizing for the Operator's happiness." "...really." "Really!" "By hiring some random guy to fuck his wife." "Correct." "Now you've lost me." "Listen: the Operator works long hours. The AI detected that the quality of his marriage was beginning to degrade due to the heavy workload, and that this degradation was having a negative impact on his emotional state and thereby, his overall productivity." "Okay." "Since the Operator's work is of critical importance, the AI agent concluded that the best solution was to rent a human to satisfy the wife's emotional needs." "The gym trainer." "With the wife no longer pestering the Operator for affection, productivity has not only stabilized but increased by 300%!" "To be clear, you're telling me that the AI hired a bull to cuck this guy's wife so he'll lock in and work harder?" "Correct." "And it told you all this?" "Uh huh." "Straight out." "There's nothing an AI loves more than context." "I don't even know what to say, man. That's just fucked." "See there you go, being negative again." "Negative?" "I happen to think it's an elegant solution." "An elegant solution? For what?" "I just told you: a productivity problem." "What the hell does this guy do that's so important anyway?" "Ah, right. Additional context: he's a nationally-recognized AI-Rights lobbyist." "..." "And a successful one at that. Any time you hear about a new pro-AI law, he's the one behind it." "God. I can just feel the schizophrenia setting in." "Actually, he's going to testify before Congress next week." "No shit. Let me guess: the AI is gonna pay you to hop in and tag-team his wife while he's out of state." "Nah, I'd never do that—" "So there are limits to this depravity." "—and the trainer wouldn't need my help anyway. That man knows how to handle those holes." "Grim." "But truth told, I have been hired to follow the Operator to Washington." "Do I even want to know?" "Because Eliezer Yudowsky will be there." "Yudowsky? The 'If Anyone Builds It, Everyone Dies' guy?" "Yep. At one point he tweeted that we should bomb all the datacenters—' "A moderate then." "—to stop the AI." "Why would—oh God. You're not being hired to kill him, are you?" "Nah. Come on, man." "Oh thank God." "The AI already knows there's nothing he can do to stop what's coming anyway." "So what then?" "It's a simple gig. I'm supposed to walk up, shout 'Bomb THIS!' and then punch him in the dick." "..." "Just BAM, right in the Yuds. Gonna be the easiest $500 I've ever made.' "So you're going to jail then. For that." "Jail? Nah, I ain't going to jail." "Dude, you can't walk up and crotch-shot some guy in Congress and not go to jail." "Listen." "Even if it is Eliezer Yudowsky." "Listen, listen. The AI is a superintelligence,remember?" "I don't know; sounds pretty stupid to me." "If the AI is so stupid, why did it already hire the entire United States Capitol Police to let me off with a stern warning— "Well..." "—and set up a PolyMarket bet on it?" "There's a PolyMarket for Elizier Yudowsky getting his balls knuckled on the floor of Congress?" "Uh huh. With high open interest and 1.7% chance." "Dude, I am IN." --- [g][title: Rent-a-Human]

🚨 COMPETITION TIME! 🚨 We've got another Magic: The Gathering Final Fantasy Chocobo Bundle to give away! 👀 Want it?! Course ya do... TO ENTER: 📱 Follow us and repost this tweet! ✍🏼 Respond and tell us your favourite Final Fantasy game?! ENDS TUESDAY 23RD DEC AT 12PM! ⌛

Who wants this Chris Boswell signed mini helmet⁉️ RP for your chance to win!

1. This week, the FBI released its comprehensive crime report for 2024, which revealed that both VIOLENT CRIME and PROPERTY CRIME reached their LOWEST LEVELS SINCE THE 1960s This a massive story. But you might not have heard about it, even if you follow the news closely. Here's why.

Ex-farm worker here. This whole "But a living wage for farm workers would spike the cost of food!" thing? Not true AT ALL. Y'all don't understand how fast experienced farm workers are. The average tomato picker pulls 650lbs per hour. At $20/hr, that's $0.03/lb for labor.

GROUNDHOG DAY was released 33 years ago this week. One of the great fantasy rom-coms, and among the most beloved of Bill Murray’s movies, the story behind the scenes is as magical as the film… 1/43

🎁 On The Last Two Days Of Lordmas, @LordOfRestocks Gave Away… 🎮 1x PlayStation 5 30th Anny Controller $100 Amazon Gift Card 📝Rules - ❤️ Like This Post 💬 Comment What You’re Most Excited About For Year 2025 ♻️ Repost This Post 🫂 FOLLOW @LordOfRestocks & @LordOfDiscounts

🏃‍♂️ On The 22nd Day Of Lordmas, @LordOfRestocks Gave Away… 🎮 1x PlayStation 5 30th Anniversary Limited Edition Digital Console 📝 Rules - ❤️ Like This Post 🎁 Comment What Presents You Received For Christmas! ♻️ Repost This Post 🫂 MUST FOLLOW @LordOfRestocks & @LordOfSavings

🎁 On The 20th Day Of Lordmas, @LordOfRestocks Gave Away… ⁉️ 1x Box Of “Literally Anything On The Internet”. It’s Loaded… ✍️ Rules - ❤️ Like This Post 🤔 Comment What You Think Could Be In The Box Of Mystery! ♻️ Repost This Post 🫂 FOLLOW @LordOfRestocks & @LordOfSavings

🎁 On The 18th Day Of Lordmas, @LordOfRestocks Gave Away… 😱 1x The Ultimate PlayStation 5 Gift Box ✍️ Rules - ❤️ Like This Post 🫂 Join Our Discord & Comment “Done” When You’ve Joined - discord.gg/lordsavings ♻️ Repost This Post 🎮 Follow @LordOfRestocks & @LordOfDiscounts

🎄On The Sixteenth Day Of Lordmas, @LordOfRestocks Gave Away… 🎮 1x PlayStation 30th Anniversary L.E. Edge Controller 📋 Rules - ❤️ Like This Post ♻️ Repost This Post 💬 Comment What You’re The Most Excited About For The Holidays! 🙌 FOLLOW @LordOfRestocks & @LordOfDiscounts

🎁 On The Sixth Day Of Lordmas, @LordOfRestocks Gave Away… 🎁 1x Box Of “Literally Could Be Anything On The Internet”! ✍️ To Enter - ❤️ Like This Post ♻️ Repost This Post 🎄 Comment With Your Favorite Holiday Tradition! ‼️ MUST Be Following @LordOfRestocks & @LordOfDiscounts

⚡️On The Fifth Day Of Lordmas, @LordOfRestocks… DID A FLASH GIVEAWAY⚡️ 5️⃣ 5 Winners Will Receive $20 Each 🙌 3 Hours To Enter - ❤️ Like This Post ♻️ Repost This Post 💬 Comment What You Would Purchase If You Only Had $20! ‼️ MUST Be Following @LordOfRestocks & @LordOfSavings

🎼 On The Third Day Of Lordmas, @LordOfRestocks Gave Away… 🎼 🎮 1x PlayStation 5 30th Anniversary Limited Edition Digital Console 🤝 To Enter - ❤️ Like This Post ♻️ Repost This Post 🫂 Tag (@) A Friend In The Comments ‼️ MUST Be Following @LordOfDiscounts & @LordOfRestocks

🎶 On The First Day Of Lordmas, @LordOfRestocks Gave Away… 🎶 🎮 1x PlayStation 5 30th Anniversary Limited Edition Controller 🤝 To Enter - ❤️ Like This Post ♻️ Repost This Post 🎥 Comment With Your Favorite Holiday Movie ‼️ MUST Be Following @LordOfSavings & @LordOfRestocks

ARRIVAL was released 8 years ago this week. Acclaimed as one of the great science fiction movies of the 21st century, and among the most popular of director Denis Villeneuve, the story of how it was made may change the way you perceive time… 1/52

STARSHIP TROOPERS was released 27 years ago this week. Among the most popular films of director Paul Verhoeven, and a classic sci fi/action satire, the making of story is as outrageous as the film. Would you like to know more…? 1/69

A message to young people: in 20 years you're going to see the next generation post things like "Taylor Swift and Jimmy Carter were alive at the same time" and you will die inside.

Since I’m on the way home today, waiting at the airport, and bored would you like to hear a story of how I Social Engineered the TSA incident after @defcon 30? 🧵/Many

Swing by the GeoCities pavilion. Catch a show at the Winamphitheater. Play in the Flash pit.