Time Person of the Year 2006.
Joined November 2011
- Tweets 43,339
- Following 904
- Followers 567
- Likes 499,048
4,444 Photos and videos
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20 Dec 2024
He bent her neck down like a twizzler in half a second flat that girl is dead
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14 Aug 2017
I see you baby
shittin that ass
shittin that ass
shittin that ass
alright don't touch me
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Yellow hat guy looks like he's mouthing hak tuah
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Why is the cistern so high
19 Dec 2024
I told my builder that I wanted my bathroom to look like The Ministry of Magic and not only was he completely unfazed, he managed to make it look exactly how I imagined.
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20 Dec 2024
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12 Dec 2024
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19 Dec 2024
bank keeps calling me nonstop about my credit card debt
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19 Dec 2024
my toxic trait is thinking this guy and elon had drunk sex that night
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20 Dec 2024
spent several minutes wondering what actual crime occurred here, and all i can figure out is maybe that county has an open container ordinance.
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19 Dec 2024
this might be the best tweet of all time
21 Jun 2022
me at the doctor when i got a cymbal stuck in my ear and he asks me to prove it x.com/doritkemsleys/status/1โฆ
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19 Dec 2024
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19 Dec 2024
you dont know that. maybe he actually does know.
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20 Dec 2024
19 Dec 2024
Water boss defends 41% price rise and ยฃ371k bonus bbc.in/3BAHdas
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19 Dec 2024
the guy on the left is being treated like Bane for killing one evil piece of shit social parasite, & the guy on the right got a standing ovation for genocide by the same people who support it. we truly do live in hell
19 Dec 2024
they want you to believe the guy on the left is a terrorist and the guy on the right isa good guy
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19 Dec 2024
my most prized possession is this rock that looks exactly like blue rare steak. seared on both sides. i found it day drunk on a greek island beach. lucky if i'm ever that stoked again
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19 Dec 2024
it's like they want us to be obsessed with him
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19 Dec 2024
It rocks that theyโre using the exact same argument that like MCU fans use
17 Dec 2024
The Academy Awards announced the shortlist for documentaries. These are their top 15 films in the genre that will be whittled down to 5 nominees. โAm I Racist?โ did not make the top 15 even though it is the highest grossing doc of the decade and easily the most talked about, most watched, and most influential documentary of this year. This is the outcome I expected, of course, but it doesnโt make it any less of a farce.
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19 Dec 2024
-Jeffrey Dahmer
19 Dec 2024
i can't stop eating dates omggg
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