Deputy editor, Express. The New York Times. We're going to need a bigger straw.

Joined September 2008
4,685 Photos and videos
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Who else plans to type twitter dot com to get to this site until the end of the web
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Michael Roston retweeted
This is …. And I don’t say this lightly…. The single greatest piece of writing I have ever seen in my life The Japanese have discovered unlimited chips & salsa and it’s beautiful
USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving. Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free. I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these." "They just come with the table, man." They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner. This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat. I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared. "Did we…?" "Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless." Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined. My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude." Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man. I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy. Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived. I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most. Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.
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Laugh a little every time I see Bosnia listed as "BIH"
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Everyone's making "Game of Thrones" Targaryen jokes but real heads know these are the Castithans from Syfy's "Defiance" and we're all about to get terraformed by Vo-tech
Posted and then almost instantaneously removed. What the literal hell is this?
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I saw this tweet at the start of the month and got wondering.....are there more ticks out there in other cities, too? Turns out the answer is not wonderful...
Hey if you're in dc and you're spending lots of time outside you need to check yourself for ticks regularly there's a 500% increase in ticks this year and yesterday me and my friends found 3 on our clothes after hanging out in dupont circle
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Here's @remytumin who obliged me by writing about ticks in the city. Watch out when you come home after your next picnic in the park: nytimes.com/2026/06/12/us/ur…
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People will do anything to get into college
You’ve heard of Hobby Horsing, now witness the new and competitive sport of Synchronized Walking.
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Bought something on Amazon and it arrived in an unnecessarily large Walmart box. Have I discovered a glitch in the retail logistics matrix?
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Also according to Amazon the product has shipped and not yet been delivered but it sure is sitting here in my home
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You're gonna get some hop ons
Steps…… “Cleared for take off” @AirNavRadar
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it's like rain on your caged melee
🚨 Current weather forecasts show a 65% chance of rain and a 39% chance of thunderstorms during the UFC White House event on June 14 😬 (via @accuweather)
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My mayor Muslim My bagel Jewish dolphins under the Verrazano New York Knicks in Quattro!
Dolphins under the Verrazano seen from @NYCferry
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The cats of @achewood would talk about this being a setback for their species
Japanese TV really tested how big of a fish a cat could bring back home. 🤣
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Michael Roston retweeted
Early anthropic employees commuting to work post IPO
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This would work better if they had the music from those Italodisco European reaction meme guys

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What if we kissed in the king oyster mushroom room
For anyone wondering what a mushroom farm looks like
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Michael Roston retweeted
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Michael Roston retweeted
my mayor is muslim my bagel is jewish my doctor zizmor my knicks in four
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Give this clip an Emmy

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Michael Roston retweeted
“My Mayor is Muslim, my bagel is Jewish, my Christian’s Dior… Knicks in 4” — unknown poet, early 21st century, the American Northeast
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Shout out to the espn cameraman who went to the nun
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