The man a woman instinctively runs to when she is upset, scared, or lost - when she needs relief, grounding, or orientation - is usually the man whom she feels true safety, attunement, and containment with. His presence makes her feel regulated, there is deep trust and an inherent reverence for his demonstrated competence. This is the man she respects because he already holds psychological, spiritual, emotional, and somatic authority within her psyche, within her soul - it is often just at a subconscious level.
Unless a woman can say to herself "I love his authority over me" - then she doesn't really belong with him, either because he is not respectable enough, not trustworthy enough, or she herself is too broken inside to relax into her feminine and surrender to her own heart.