Joined October 2020
- Tweets 3,090
- Following 129
- Followers 33
- Likes 72,485
121 Photos and videos
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Now that i think about it, straight women want to have lesbian sex with their husbands, and straight men want to have gay sex with their wives
Jun 13
How my wife looks at me when I ask for sex after an hour of tongue kissing and over-the-pants-stroking
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Jun 12
YOUTUBE WHAT THE HECK, IT'S SUPPOSED TO SAY SEANIE TOO, WHOSE PLAY BUTTON IS THIS???
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The story of Icarus provides us with a valuable lesson: never fuck up real bad
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Jun 11
People should have known Hitler was bad news all along, I mean, the guy's name literally was Hitler
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Jun 11
one of the easiest ways to tell if a book is good or not is to take a quick look at the cover
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Jun 11
English is funny— we “park” in the “driveway” but “jack off” in the “company bathrooms”
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i'm approximately as smart as GPT-2 XL at next-token prediction ^u^
u can try to mog me if u want below (video sped up 5x)
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Jun 9
New game "Minecraft" is releasing later this year
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owen dennis is truly one of the greats
infinity train taught me how to cry
among us taught me how to twerk
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if the pussy doesn’t have roguelike elements I’m not coming
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Jun 5
a girl no older than 10 came into my store. out of nowhere i heard her go "miku, miku, you can call me miku"
so, naturally, i walked over to her, bent down to her level and asked "are you larping, or can you name 15 miku songs?"
when she couldn't, i kicked her out. #GateKEPT
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the existence of esex implies the existence of offline, physical sex.
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Jun 5
why jerk off if there’s no profit incentive???
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15 years ago, I set a firework off next to my head for a video that never even came out, leaving me with mild tinnitus in my left ear. Last month, it abruptly doubled in volume. Fuck you, past me, you stupid dumb idiot
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People accept that water evaporates into clouds because they teach you that as a kid so you never question it. Well they didn’t teach me that as a kid. They taught me the art of assassination and turned me into a perfect killing machine. And that’s how I know clouds aren’t real
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May 29
the dominos delivery tracker just told me my exact place and time of death
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