>new gun announced >ask manufacturer if it's a Glock or an AR-15 >they don't understand >show them a diagram illustrating what is a Glock and what is an AR-15 >"Haha, it's a new gun sir" >gun is revealed >it's a Glock

“It was that Luigi kid, Ton. Showed his ID at a McDonald’s” “Mangione? Why’d he show his ID at a McDonald’s?” “It’s the McRib, Ton. It’s back but you gotta show your ID to get one. RFK Jr’s makin’ everyone do it” “Kennedy? I thought he got shot”

“Santa Claus is real.” “No, he’s not.” “Yes he is, I've seen him.” “You've seen him?” “Yes.” “You've seen a sleigh with eight little reindeer that's crewed by the elves, and captained by a man so jolly that Heaven itself sent him back down?” “No.” “No.” “But I have seen a sleigh with reindeer.” “Oh, and no sleigh that's not crewed by the elves and captained by a man so jolly that heaven itself sent him back down could possibly have reindeer, therefore couldn't possibly be any other sleigh than Santa’s. Is that what you're telling me?” “No.” “Like I said, there's no real Santa that can deliver the presents.”

You cannot stop what is coming

ITS DECEMBER 1ST BITCHES

I’m getting ready to watch this Tyson vs Jake Paul fight like I’m watching someone cast a spell that I hope actually works. And I don’t really believe in magic. But I want to believe.

This kills the nihilist

Media Literacy Enjoyers when the avatar of misfortune forces you to reexamine the code by which you live

When you use AI to replace every mention of "our democracy" with "our bureaucracy," everything starts making a lot more sense.

What did he mean by this?

The adult version of finding out Santa Claus doesn't exist is finding out that he does, in fact, exist.

I asked my old college roommate, who now works in firearms research and development, how much it would cost to replicate an STG-44. I will never forget his answer. He said, "We can't. We don't know how”

Glowing like the sun