“I wish I can finally forgive myself for all the things I am not.”
I don’t think people talk enough about the grief of becoming someone you never planned to be...especially when that shift comes through illness.
I never imagined I’d be this body. This bed. This version of me that can’t always show up, chase dreams, or even stand... I grieve the girl I was meant to be. The one who travelled light, who said yes to everything. And I carry shame...deep, strange shame for not becoming her.
Maybe the real bravery isn’t in fighting to be who you were. Maybe it’s in gently, fiercely learning to forgive yourself for the things you’re not… and learning to honour the quiet, aching beauty of who you are.
For anyone carrying the weight of an un-lived life:
You’re still here
You’re still worthy.
Even when you’re not everything you imagined...and especially then. 🖤