Raised bi wolves
Joined July 2010
- Tweets 6,163
- Following 818
- Followers 1,362
- Likes 2,882
296 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
11 Dec 2015
Omg I just realized the gender neutral form of "Fuck Boy" is "Layperson"
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2 Apr 2019
My wife wants us to fly to New Zealand! I want that too now.
#YVRSkytrax10
1 Apr 2019
We're celebrating being voted Best Airport in North America 10 years in a row by giving away 10 prizes to 10 lucky followers! All you have to do is quote tweet this and tell us where you want to fly. Top prize is a $2000 travel voucher. Make sure to use #YVRSKYTRAX10.
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Peter Carlone retweeted
19 Aug 2014
Wear only a towel around your waist and you can get into just about anywhere if you just repeat "so sorry so sorry" and keep moving forward.
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Peter Carlone retweeted
14 Nov 2012
Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious
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Peter Carlone retweeted
21 Mar 2018
every thrift store I've been to smells like someones cooking up a big pot of rug soup
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21 Mar 2018
Stupid Watergate and stupid Unabomber. I think we should just rename 2018 "Stupid 70's"
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19 Mar 2018
"it's cool when you can't hear the dialogue over the music" - Sound mixer on Wild Wild Country
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17 Mar 2018
Hahaha you can say "it fell apart like a house of cards" and even if someone thinks you are talking about the show they will still get what you were saying.
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Peter Carlone retweeted
14 Mar 2018
I'll just admit it: I have no clue how we know anything about black holes.
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Peter Carlone retweeted
16 Mar 2018
sometimes i think about taking up smoking just to make myself go outside more
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13 Mar 2018
Dear @Netflix_CA you can make hundreds more "Bright" movies if you keep producing stuff like the Malala interview. Great stuff.
... (Please don't tho. About the Bright thing)
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11 Mar 2018
I have a GIANT head x.com/justwarr/status/972355…
10 Mar 2018
Rad fun writers Etan Cohen, Tracy Oliver, Max Winkler & Peter Carlone @JFLNorthWest #comedy #screenplay panel today. My fave advice on how to get your script made: “you literally can’t listen to the word NO” 🤘 #JFLNW18
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Peter Carlone retweeted
9 Mar 2018
2010: oh cool i can order a book off amazon
2030: oh cool my amazon overlords are allowing me to eat one portion of food today
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Peter Carlone retweeted
9 Mar 2018
DETECTIVE: Who said anything about murder?
SUSPECT: I didn’t.
DETECTIVE: Sorry, it’s my first day as a cop I got excited and skipped ahead.
SUSPECT: It’s okay, it’s my first day committing murder.
DETECTIVE: Who said anything about murder?
SUSPECT: Aw nuts!
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9 Mar 2018
I am as down with the content of the #vertical10 as much as I HATE the orientation. Stop trying to normalize portrait over landscape.
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Peter Carlone retweeted
6 Mar 2018
some of you youths are gonna be real disappointed when u discover that turning 30 just means you still have all the same weird interests but can't turn your head all the way to the left anymore
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Peter Carlone retweeted
8 Mar 2018
#InternationalWomensDay is just a holiday hallmark made up to sell more women
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looking forward to the 1,138th episode of Conan tonight x.com/ConanOBrien/status/971…
7 Mar 2018
Netflix announced it will release over 700 original TV series and movies this year. That explains their new slogan, “Quantity.”
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