Some of you will probably laugh at this, and many will not understand it.
My 17 year old cat is not doing well, and we will probably have to let her go.
Kidney failure, almost from 1 day to the next. 2 days ago she was still running around like a young cat.
I am a grown man, and this is breaking my heart. At the same time I have to find a way to explain to my children that this is part of life, even when it feels brutally unfair.
17 years.
She has been with me for almost half my life.
Through 4 different homes, different chapters, different versions of myself, from having no children to having 3 children.
She was always there. Every day she came to me, wanted to be close, climbed onto my arm like it was the most normal thing in the world.
She never scratched 1 of my children.
Never hurt anyone. A proper little lady.
Call me soft if you want. I do not care.
There are things in life you only understand once they are suddenly standing right in front of you.
The quiet loyalty of an animal is one of them.
No words, no demands, no drama. Just presence.
For 17 years she simply existed next to me, through stress, change, exhaustion, bad days, good days, moving boxes, new rooms, crying babies, growing children and all the silent moments.
And now I have to watch her become weak almost overnight.
I have to look at her and somehow decide what kindness means when every part of me wants more time.
Love makes you want to hold on. Responsibility forces you to let go before suffering becomes the price of your own selfishness.
So yes, I am devastated over a cat.
A 17 year old little soul who followed me through almost half my life, never asked for anything except closeness and food, and gave my family nothing but gentleness.
Laugh if you want. I will grieve her properly.
This picture is 17 years old, from the day I picked her up.