I liquidated my entire 401K yesterday morning.
The financial advisor on the phone begged me to reconsider.
He used words like tax penalty and catastrophic compound interest loss.
I told him fiat currency is a collective hallucination.
I took the $85K and drove straight to a commercial restaurant supply warehouse.
I bought exactly 12,000 pounds of iodized table salt.
It took 4 trips in a rented moving truck to transport it to my basement.
Historically, salt was used to pay Roman soldiers.
When the central banking system collapses next Tuesday, I'll be the wealthiest warlord in the tri-state area.
My basement is currently a massive, white, moisture-absorbing desert.
I have to wear protective eyewear just to do laundry.
My neighbor asked why I was carrying 50-pound bags of sodium into my house for 9 straight hours.
I told him I'm curing meats.
I'm not curing meats.
I'm hoarding the currency of the apocalypse.
He'll be begging me for seasoning by November.