Jun 14
Anyone can leave the dentist office with a computer if they believe in themselves
16
Jun 13
Jun 13
There are some tweets that should be displayed in museums once in a great while. Congratulations because this is one of those tweets
1
13
May 18
May 17
The internet finally delivers what I really want to see
48
May 15
May 15
It's only 1:27 PM local time and I am already confident that this will be the best tweet I see all day.
1
15
May 10
May 10
It's actually crazy how the designation of socialite is gone. Now they're just labeled influencers, celebrities or nepo babies thanks to social media and the rise of celebrity worship.
1
47
Apr 24
18
Apr 21
Apr 21
Mad skills! My great uncle, nearly blind from retinitis pigmentosa and blind drunk, driving a 33ft Sundancer through the middle of a regatta in the same harbor is probably the closest I have come to death…
1
71
Apr 15
Apr 14
Walked into the apartment from work in college and there were flames in the oven and smoke billowing out of it. Roommate’s girlfriend had put a pizza in the oven to reheat in the cardboard box it was delivered in. If you wondered who that warning on the box was for, I’ve met her.
1
1
69
Apr 10
Post him on “are we dating the same guy” Facebook page / location near where he lives. 24 hours before his wife gets a screenshot.
37
Apr 10
That escalated fast, I’ll remind myself to never piss you off, payback is a beeatch
10
Apr 7
Apr 7
roll that beautiful spleen-frying footage
20
Mar 24
Mar 23
Passion knows no shame, even if it requires an awkward conversation at passport control.
54
Mar 13
Mar 13
I’m sorry but the image of a kid successfully catching a seagull with gummy worms is legendary.
1
1
31
Mar 7
Neither of you two should ever be left unattended.
1
11
Mar 7
The vowel shift never fully ended, it just slowed. New Zealand's national anthem no longer rhymes even though it was only written in the 1870s, because "war" has stopped rhyming with "star" and "afar" since then.
25
Mar 4
He died of bomb
27