ah yes, how we all think of him, “ABC’s” Ernie Johnson

how am i supposed to go to bed

100% chance I’d wear a t-shirt under my jersey if I played in the NBA.

Oh, those opinions were your own? I thought they were those of your employer.

I’m Kid Rock.” “I’m Naomi Wolf.” “I’m Kanye West.” “I’m Matt Taibbi.” “I’m Catturd. Those stories, plus Rob Schneider, tonight on 60 Minutes.”

shut up you ugly fuck

Bragging about working late on a literal war like it’s a power point presentation is objectively hilarious.

Cuuuuuuuck

One very good thing about the younger generation — and a ton of male pro athletes today — is that they talk about mental health out loud. I am convinced being public on this stuff saves lives. My late Mom counseled people who were at the World Trade Center on the morning of 9/11 and survived. As you can imagine, survivor guilt fucked up a lot of people. What I learned from her is that some of the most courageous things she ever witnessed — including from physically strong-ass dudes — was acknowledging trauma and depression and anxiety. Plenty of people echo the stuff below. That's fine. To each his own. I know what I've seen with my own eyes. Verbalizing this stuff, whether privately or publicly, can get you on the road to recovery.

Welp

ok so Vrabel just took a quick abel tesfaye and fixed everything? cool

The pivot from ‘let people joke about whatever they want’ to ‘it doesn’t count as a joke unless it’s funny to me’ is swift and comes for us all

ok this is not great but it is better than the time a murderer was on the team #patriots

Games Wemby has finished since @Babchik said he may be the second greatest player ever: 0

who among us hasn’t had to have difficult conversations about things we also vehemently denied doing?

weird way for wwe to wade into the pro-life movement but ok

Nothing is more relatable to me than Rory’s daughter giving him a kiss that says “I’m not that impressed.”

Far too many people quoting the “Pat MAGAfee” part of the promo incorrectly.

Telling everyone how impressive my first gay bareback orgy was

Probably was a bad idea to elect both the dumbest and most emotionally fragile president in American history.