"When we decline conversation with those we might currently disagree with, we condemn ourselves to forever disagree."
Leading into tomorrow's protests, some have instructed protesters not to engage in conversation with those on the 'other side'.
If anyone believes that these identity politic divides somehow resolve themselves by forcing the 'other side' to accept your position... well... world history has already shown us how well that works out.
We gain traction in this division only by first humanizing those we disagree with. By truly engaging with and understanding both their needs and their fears. Once we've got that down, we can address both our own concerns AND theirs more easily than we may have thought.
If you're trans and you don't think anything gender critical people say has merit, then I have a question for you: Have you ever really talked to a gender critical individual? Not yelled at them, but sat down over a cup coffee to understand their fears? If you've done that... great! Keep going... and 6 or 12 months later you'll have talked to enough people to REALLY understand the root of where they are coming from.
And on the other side... if you have concerns about schools, curriculum, childhood transition, pronounce, prisons, sports, washrooms... If you have these concerns, have you taken the time to really get into both the headspace and heart-space of a transgender person? Not to mock them on Twitter, but to engage in good old-fashion community?
I've spent the last two years having thousands of conversations with the individuals on both ends of this identity politic divide. And I've never been more confident that a workable solution exists. But to get there.... we need to talk. All of us.
Tomorrow, I hope you consider extending goodwill to those on the other side of the protest. That will make a much bigger difference than yelling into the abyss about how wrong they are. Maybe they are wrong... but by showing the worst of ourselves to others we only strengthen their resolve that our position is inimical.